Blog si Feminis

Mumpung libur dari kantor, setelah jemput Angie pulang sekolah pukul 11.30, aku mengajaknya ke KAMPUNG NASI, tempat aku pernah makan dua kali, diajak oleh Rahma, one workmate of mine. Pertama kali aku kesana bareng Rahma, and I loved the atmosphere, plus harga yang lumayan terjangkau buatku, aku sudah kepengen mengajak Angie makan di sana kapan-kapan. But berhubung KAMPUNG NASI libur pada hari Minggu, dan buka hanya pukul 07.00-15.00, aku harus menunggu term break dari kantor, baru bisa nraktir Angie ke sana.
Empat hari kemarin aku sibuk ngikut training di kantor, so meskipun Angie juga libur sekolah selama tiga hari–karena kakak kelasnya sedang try out ujian akhir–aku belum bisa ngajak Angie ke sana.
Di KAMPUNG NASI, aku memesankan Angie ‘nasi timbel’ berhubung Angie ga tahu dia mau pesan apa. Aku sendiri pesan ayam bumbu asam manis. Untuk minuman, Angie pesan es shanghai, aku pesan es teler. Setelah sang waitress pergi, Angie bertanya kepadaku,
"Tadi ada menu ‘nasi goreng kolonial’, tapi dari gambarnya kok kayak nasi goreng biasa. Kenapa juga diberi nama ‘kolonial’?"
"Do you want to order it, honey?" tanyaku agak menyesal karena Angie tadi ga bilang apa-apa waktu sang waitress menunggu kita mau pesan apa.
"Engga kok, Ma. Cuma heran aja dengan namanya," jawab Angie.
"Or will you like it if we come here again tomorrow, after school? You can oder that menu," I proposed an idea.
Angie tertawa lebar.
"Bagaimana kalau kita coba semua menu yang ada? Setelah itu kita pindah ke rumah makan yang lain?" jawabnya. LOL.

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At 1pm, Angie was supposed to get additional lesson, TOEIC Preparation at school, but Angie said she didn’t want to attend it. Ya udah, kita jadinya santai aja menikmati makanan kita.
"Entar sebelum pulang Angie mau fotocopy dulu ya Ma? Di dekat rumah kita ada ga sih?" tanya Angie.
"Bukannya di dekat sekolah Angie ada fotocopy center?"
"Males ke situ Ma. Yang kerja di situ ga ramah sama sekali, selalu cemberut. Ga pernah sekalipun tersenyum."
"I sometimes think that being a photocopy center worker is a very boring thing to do. The job is not challenging at all, as well as boring." kataku sembari menirukan lagak seseorang sedang fotocopy: berdiri di samping fotocopy machine, mengulak-alik lembaran-lembaran kertas. Begitu melulu, dari pagi sampai sore/malam.
Angie ketawa melihatku bertingkah seperti itu.
"Do you know what people did in the past before the photocopier was invented?"
Angie diam saja, sembari berusaha membayangkan bagaimana orang-orang zaman dulu menyalin sesuatu. "Did they rewrite it?" tanyanya.
"Exactly! You know some law firms sometimes needed copies of some important documents so they asked someone to rewrite it. People working like that were called THE SCRIVENER. I remember once I read a short story entitled BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER by Herman Melville. At the end, the character committed suicide because of feeling bored and pessimistic looking at the world. In short, the story is like that."
Angie ngikik mendengarnya. Apalagi waktu aku bilang, "Mana dia matinya berdiri menghadap tembok lagi!"

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From KAMPUNG NASI, I invited Angie to drop by at warnet, mumpung liburan, aku puas-puasin ngenetnya, setelah sekian luamaaaaaaaa … aku jarang ngenet.

KPDE 15.12 280308

I just finished attending IN SERVICE TRAINING held in my workplace. It was carried out for four days, from Monday, 24 March, until Thursday, 27 March, from 08.00 until 14.00. Guess what I can say from the training? It was sooooo exhausting!!! AHHHH….

For the background, the training was done for the teachers from two affiliates. (In Semarang, the English Course where I have been working since 1996, there are two affiliates. And to save time and minimize fund–maybe so LOL–the training for the teachers were held just once, given by one trainer coming from Jakarta.) And this time, my workplace became the host. So, the teachers from the other affilate came to my office.

Although it was exhausting (gosh, for around one and a half years, I haven’t worked since morning, directly until evening–AN EXCUSE, LOL), it was FUN because the participants tried entertaining themselves by having lots of jokes. We really enjoyed each other.

I didn’t take any picture during the training. However, my dearest sister-who happens to work in the other affiliate–took lots of pictures using her new digital camera. So? If you are curious to see how we enjoyed the training, I will post some pictures here next time I am back online.

What did I get from the training? One for sure is to meet more workmates–although they work for different affiliate. To get some new (but old LOL) techniques to be applied in the teaching learning process is an inevitable thing. And the most surprising thing is TO GET ADDITIONAL INCOME. Huehehehehe … (I can buy a new pair of boots probably. :))

KPDE 19.15 270308

“From several kinds of feminism ideology, how do you classify Gilman?”

This question came up after I presented my paper entitled “Woman Madness in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s ‘The Yellow Wallpaper’ and Putu Oka Sukanta’s ‘Dewi Bulan Jatuh di Batam’”, in the International Seminar held by Catholic University Soegijapranata Semarang, last January 16, 2008.

I must say that it was somewhat difficult to answer since Gilman did not call herself as a feminist. One clear reason behind Gilman’s opinion was in the end of the nineteenth century, the women (feminist) movement struggled for suffrage. Gilman was of opinion that right to vote didn’t automatically make women equal to men. She was convinced that working to earn money in order to be economically independent would make a woman equal to men. However, the twentieth century critics labeled her as a radical feminist due to that conviction—that made Gilman different from her contemporary woman activists in that century. Therefore, to answer the question above, I cited what the twentieth century literary critics called Gilman.

“How do you classify yourself? A liberal feminist, a radical, Marxist, or any other kind of feminist? Someone asked me via a short message.

This question also made me dumb. How do I classify myself?

Different from Gilman who refused to be called a feminist, I proudly claim myself as a feminist. I oftentimes think that I need to expose my way of thinking, with the hope that people will understand why I say this and that, or write this and that. Nevertheless, I don’t mind either if my exposing myself as a feminist to public doesn’t make them easily understand me. (This is of course because many people in

Indonesia

still don’t know what ‘feminist’ means. They are somewhat confused of terms ‘feminist’ and ‘feminine’. LOL.)

However, the same as my confusion how to classify Gilman, I don’t want to classify myself either, whether I am pro of what kind feminism ideology. As I have written in several posts in my blogs (for those who loyally follow and ready my posts, probably they will not really mind themselves whether I am a radical, liberal, etc feminist), I have my own definition of feminism. Feminism is more to give women right to choose kind of life for themselves. Give women freedom to make their own decision. What kind of decision? Read my previous post I entitled “Gender Equality” (or check it in my blog at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com) Issue of what kind of feminism ideology is not important for me anymore, as long as women feel at ease in their lives. Focus more on bettering women’s lives rather than stopping at question “What kind of feminist are you?” We are all sisters, aren’t we? No matter what kind of feminism ideology we adhere? Even no matter whether a woman doesn’t involve herself in a feminist movement.

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I am oftentimes bothered when finding well-educated people don’t
understand the importance of gender equality in social life, for both
sexes betterment, not only for women, but also for men. To me, this
kind of well-educated people are people who limit their own
interpretation of what a woman is born for; people who let themselves
‘blinded’ by their narrow-minded interpretation of their religious
teachings, as well as the narrow-minded understanding of what a culture
is.
One of its examples is when I read an article in one local
tabloid. The article was about a profile of a woman who has been busy
in social organizations in Central Java. She said that gender equality
does not necessarily mean the equal number. It means that she
criticized the affirmative action given to women in politic sphere.
Women do not need affirmative action to show that they are as capable
as men. Furthermore, she said that gender equality clashed religious
teachings as well as Indonesian culture.
Unfortunately the article
didn’t give thorough explanation of that woman what she meant by saying
that the success of gender equality does not automatically result in
the more number of women involved in public sphere. Therefore, I had to
use my interpretation when reading such a limited accusation, “gender
equality is a failure if the success of it lies in the quantity”.
To
know my opinion on feminism (gender equality means feminist movement),
read my previous post on “Feminism: a western culture?”
I am of
opinion that it is necessary to give affirmative action to show that
they are as capable as men in politics due to the fact that women have
had limit access to politics because they have been considered
incapable. Why incapable? Because they have been considered as domestic
creatures so that their main duty is to take care of children and
husbands. Take a look at the example of the number of students for
vocational schools. Many vocational schools offering the skills to
cook, to sew, and recently including for makeup have been full of
female students. On the other hand, vocational schools offering the
skills for machines, electricity, etc have been full of male students.
Besides, one thing we cannot deny is that parents give sons more
priority to continue their education than daughters when they have
financial constraints, without trying to analyze who has a higher
intellect.
Because women have been imprisoned in domestic sphere, they have had limited experience in public sphere.
So,
how to find out that women are also as capable as men in public sphere,
especially in politics? Give them a chance to show their capability.
How? Give them affirmative action. Don’t limit them only as domestic
creatures.
Women are human beings, and not just the second sex. It
means that they have full right to make a choice in their life, without
any limitation based on religious teachings or the so-called cultures.
They are free to choose
1. to be single, or married.
2. to be a full housewife or have career outside home
3. to be a full mother or a part time mother because they want to have career outside home
4. to be single parent when they don’t find any man suitable with their way of life
5. not to have a baby or to be a breeder
6. to work in public as well as domestic sphere
7. to be lesbian or straight
8.
including to be a superwoman who is willing to fulfill their religious
teaching requirement (read => to get married, having kids, be a
super wife as well as mother, not to mention as money maker too,
without forgetting her ‘main duty’ as the servant of their husband and
children)
Once again, women are free to choose which suits their
interest, without any burden in following religious teachings or
cultures. Treat women as adult and human beings and then ask them to be
responsible with their choices.
PT56 19.44 070108

"Kamu mau menceraikan diri ya?" demikianlah ‘tuduhan’ Abangku tersayang tatkala aku telah ‘menghilang’ dari milis kesayangan kita RUMAHKITABERSAMA selama beberapa minggu; ga kirim tulisan, juga ga ikutan nyaut obrolan. Dan yang paling PARAH adalah ketidaktahuanku Abang datang ke kota kelahirannya!!! Semua karena jarangnya aku ngenet akhir-akhir ini. Kalau pun sempat ngenet, aku hanya ngecek mailbox, delete ratusan email yang masuk dari beberapa milis yang kuikuti, such as RKB, JIL, Perempuan, dan yang terbaru JurnalPerempuan.

"Sibuk Bang!" adalah excuse yang kuberikan kepadanya. Klise yah? LOL. Ya gitu deh, mau gimana lagi, kalo aku memang ga punya alasan lain? Aku juga bilang, "Semarang sering hujan Bang bulan-bulan terakhir ini, jadi males ke warnet deh." Langsung dia protes, "Emang warnetnya ga terletak di dalam gedung? Kamu bakal kehujanan kalo ke warnet waktu turun hujan, begitu?" Ya maklum lah, ngajuin alasan semacam itu kepada orang yang ga pernah punya pengalaman ke warnet. LOL. Mana bisa dia ngebayangin, atau memahami, mengapa ‘hujan’ bisa menjadi excuse bagiku untuk tidak ngenet. LOL.

"Kamu sibuk dijemput orang kali, trus jalan-jalan?" tuduhnya pula. Wakakakakaka …

Abangku tersayang memang paling ngerti aku. Heran … darimana dia belajar ‘membaca’ yang tak kasat mata gitu? Tentu dari bejibun email yang telah kukirim ke dia, membuatnya tahu banget what kind of creature Nana is. LOL.

Today is Saturday, 22 March 2008. I don’t have morning class actually. Udah usai seminggu yang lalu. But I still go to my workplace, to do something important. It didn’t take a long time though. Setelah itu??? Ngenet deh, memuaskan keinginan yang selalu dan selalu kuredam akhir-akhir ini.

Btw. out of the blue, beberapa bulan lalu aku menjadi anggota milis JURNALPEREMPUAN automatically, padahal aku ga pernah registered ke situ. Tahu ada milis bernama JURNALPEREMPUAN pun aku ga tahu, meskipun site www.jurnalperempuan.com merupakan salah satu site yang biasa kukunjungi. Bahan diskusi milis JP ini, gile benerrrrrr, ABSOLUTELY TO MY TASTE!!! Ga jauh beda dengan yang ada di site www.jurnalperempuan.com juga ga jauh beda dengan JURNAL PEREMPUAN, salah satu jurnal kesayanganku. Lha wong yang mengelola orang-orang yang sama, piye sih?

Kamu tahu apa yang kurasakan hari ini tatkala membaca beberapa tulisan yang masuk di milis JP? Oh, betapa terasa telah berabad-abad aku membiarkan diri menjadi IDLE, betapa aku memang sangat butuh DICHARGE dengan tulisan-tulisan yang sangat mencerahkan dari orang-orang cerdas sekaliber Manneke Budiman, Dewi Candraningrum, Gadis Arivia, dan orang-orang lain yang biasa ‘main’ di milis JIL, yang selalu membuatku terkagum-kagum berapa jam mereka lewatkan untuk membaca dalam satu hari? Untuk selalu mencoba mengurai misteri yang selalu ada dalam rimba kehidupan kita ini?

Mungkin hal yang sama pula yang mampir ke benak Abangku tersayang, "What the hell has happened to Nana so that she passed up such precious moment to inspire herself with such a knowledge she usually looks for via this cyber world?"

Ah … I am divided into two.
This made me realize that I really belong to the type of person who cannot concentrate on more than one thing at the same time.

Btw, I have been online for several hours. Abangku tersayang ngilang kemana yak? I greeted him via YM several hours ago, and until now he doesn’t show up yet. Ga tahu apa dia kalo aku kangen berat ke dia?

Campus-Net 10.55 220308

“A winner is usually an intelligent person.”

I agree with that statement. In my opinion, intelligent is not analogous to having a high education, let’s say a college graduate. A high school diploma recipient can be as intelligent as a university diploma bearer. Just like what Andrea Hirata wrote in his most powerful novel LASKAR PELANGI, a natural intelligent person can be born everywhere, including in a very remote and very poor village.

Several weeks ago, my youngest sister told me her experience meeting an old friend of mine. I remember him as someone who didn’t treat education seriously. He is around my age and when I graduated from senior high school, he just graduated from junior high school. It can be said that he was three years later behind me in pursuing education. Not only that. After he was accepted at one state vocational school after graduating from junior high school, he didn’t finish his vocational school when his girlfriend broke their relationship.

From the meeting with that old friend of mine, my sister showed me a short article in the local newspaper announcing the winner of a chess competition. Surprisingly, his name was on the list: NUMBER ONE. He has won some chess competitions held in the local scale—Semarang—as well as provincial scale.

I am of opinion that chess—I am wondering how this can be categorized into SPORT, LOL—is a sport for brain. Someone needs a high intellectual as well as concentration to win a chess game, moreover a competition. This made me question whether without my knowing he continued his study until finishing university. (Poor my terrible and shallow stereotyping before this, LOL, that someone needs to graduate from university, at least, to be smart. LOL.)

After meeting him for several times and having a talk—for old time’s sake—I found out that he is somewhat like Lintang—one character in LASKAR PELANGI. He is naturally born smart. He can easily understand my a bit complicated way of thinking. (Please forgive my being intellectual snob. LOL. LOL.) His intelligence—that does not necessarily mean well-educated—has made him a winner.

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I often admire middle-aged people—especially women, moreover women who have delivered babies—who still have “ideal” body. As one ‘victim’ of beauty-is-slim ideology, of course I refer “ideal body” here to slim body, without much fat around their body. (I hate to say this, and admitting that I am a victim of beauty-is-slim ideology makes me feel like someone who runs away from the fact that I cannot conquer this stupid ideology. I am really not responsible and blame the ideology to hide my weakness to attack those ridiculous ads back.)

Why do I focus on women? It is because I am a woman, not because I give in the old-fashioned opinion that no matter what women must look their best while men can look ugly. (I am one supporter of metrosexual men.)

Why do I focus on women who have delivered babies? This is based on my own experience, after delivering my Lovely Star in 1991. We have to admit that during pregnancy, some ‘areas’ in women’s bodies become larger, let’s say belly, waist, and buttocks. After they deliver the baby, those parts of the bodies can still be large, especially belly where behind it, womb is located.

To make the belly smaller again, just like before getting pregnant, women must do several things. First, they can put a corset around their belly for several months after delivering the baby. For Javanese women—or maybe Indonesian women—they can put a ‘stagen’ (a very long cloth, around 10cm wide) around their belly closely. Second, they rub special concocted herbs on their belly before it is covered by the ‘stagen’. The negative thing from doing this of course is it makes women difficult to take a breath. However, the result of doing this activity is it will make women’s belly smaller again.

After several months, to keep the belly slim, women have to do exercises regularly. They are not to eat before sleeping because it will ruin the previous effort easily. It means women need strong will and discipline.

My own experience after delivering my baby in 1991, my belly became slim again because I diligently wrap my belly with stagen for several weeks. However, I didn’t continue it by doing exercises. The temptation to sleep after lulling Angie while breastfeeding her made my body big easily. The ‘rumour’ saying that consuming birth control medicine will make women’s bodies larger made me consider it as something natural to see my body bigger.

To slim down my baby, I needed to combine some steps. The first is to do exercise regularly, let’s say five times a week, around one until two hours each. Being discipline to be on diet was the second step. ‘On diet” here means to eat carbohydrate in a small amount; to eat vegetables and fruit for lunch; and nothing for dinner.

After succeeding to slim down the body, keep being discipline to do the two things: to combine exercise with diet. My experience to resume my study where I had to work hard to do all assignments left me no time to do exercise. Worried that I would get sick if I kept being on a diet, I forgot my being discipline to arrange my food intake. The result? My body turned to be big again gradually.

After finishing my study (thank God I get a very intellectual scapegoat LOL), I resumed to do exercise regularly again. However, this time I found it hard to be on a discipline diet. As a scapegoat for my failure to slim down my body again this time? “I already reach middle age, an age where women commonly turn to have big body.” Hahahaha ..

Therefore, I always love to see women in their ideal body. It shows that they are disciplined.

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