Blog si Feminis

“Feminism is western lifestyle. Therefore, as eastern
people, we are not to follow it because it is not our culture. It can
be added too that feminism is against Islamic teachings. Consequently,
as eastern Muslim, we are forbidden to give green light to feminism to
“intrude” our way of life.”

How often have you read such a statement? Or probably, how often have you stated such a doubt about feminism?
To
counter such a doubt (I just got such an accusation at my blog at
http://afemaleguest.multiply.com) in this writing, first of all I’d
like to cite the definition of culture I took from “World Book 2005”
(the digital version).

“Culture is a term used by
social scientists for a way of life. … People are not born with any
knowledge of a culture. They generally learn a culture by growing up in
a particular society. … Therefore, one of its characteristics is that
culture is acquired through learning, not through biological
inheritance. Children take on the culture in which they are raised
through enculturation.“

Hundred thousands years
ago, our ancestors moved from one place to another place. They could
move from the east to the west, or on the way around, from the west to
the east. They would bring their habits (read => culture) wherever
they would go. When the era of ‘nomad’ ended (this started especially
after women invented agriculture), they would develop their culture in
their respective place, based on their way of thinking. Different
places absolutely would create different ‘culture’.
Meanwhile,
gender bias has been on men’s minds since immemorial time. The
“invention” of some celestial religions would strengthen it since those
religions were “invented” by men. Therefore, no matter whether one
culture was developed in the east or in the west, apparently those
cultures had one similarity, the marginalization of women.
Perhaps
you still remember the glory of Islamic nations with their ‘cultures’
many centuries ago. Muslim scientists invented many things. However,
the fight among three Abrahamic faiths (to win “the prize” as the most
righteous religion) made those nations left behind. I assume that it
was due to the unnecessary fight. Therefore, when the western nations
progressed with their sciences, way of thinking, advanced inventions,
etc, the eastern nations were even in the dark age.
Related to
that, it is very understandable when women in the west started to
question why they were marginalized first while women in the east were
still ‘dumb’. However, to say that feminism ideology is ‘western’ and
that it is not appropriate for the eastern women, with reason that it
is not our culture is very shallow.
Started with the first women
summit in Seneca Falls in 1848, American women (read  western women)
began struggling for equality. The printing machine and publishing
companies obviously were more developed there rather than, in Indonesia
let’s say, in that era. Although those women were attacked by the cult
of true womanhood (where one of its tenet was that women were not
allowed to write because writing was men’s sphere), they still produced
writings to protest.
In Indonesia, around the same era, very few
women got their chance to get education. It is understandable then if
they could not pour out their protest in a form of writings. However,
we have one very good example of it, R.A. Kartini with her letters to
her Dutch friends. She protested why she could not continue her study
to a higher level. She also questioned why her fellow women citizens
were not allowed to get education at all. I believe many other women
also questioned similar things, only their protests were not recorded
appropriately.
It is also underestimating to say that women in the
east are not supposed to follow the struggle for equality. In other
words, it can be said that those women cannot perceive the unequal
treatment they get from the society, using ‘culture’ as the tool. (e.g.
by saying “feminism ideology is just not eastern culture.”)
At the
beginning of its ‘birth’, we know that feminism was proposed by white,
middle class women so that it did not really represent the whole women
in all nations. Therefore, to accommodate this lack, more kinds of
feminisms appeared, where one of them is multicultural feminism. Their
emergence apparently has made feminism ideology something down to
earth, something very common in women’s lives for women living in the
developing countries.
Culture is often used as a scapegoat to
refuse a new thing. It is ‘abused’ in a form that human being is not a
free creature to use their awareness to value something. As I have
cited above, culture is acquired through learning. There is no wrong
when someone has different way of thinking, or different value as long
as they do not harm the society. They have different ways to view
culture through their learning, using their common sense, and not just
passively follow what the crowd considers as ‘culture’.
To end
this writing, whether feminism ideology is western or eastern
‘culture’, it is no longer important. The more important thing is that
using our common sense and awareness to view a piece of culture is
appropriate for our lives or not. Afterwards, respect other people’s
values in the hope that they will respect our values too.
PT56 13.35 210108

Dear my blog visitors (especially members of FRIENDSTER community),
You must have known that FRIENDSTER has added a new feature called ADD APPLICATION. I don’t know what the hell it is about, what on earth it is for, and why on moon it is added. LOL. Some friends in my network have added some applications based on their interest. I know this of course because I get the notifications from FRIENDSTER admin. I haven’t checked their profiles though after that, whether it makes different, whether it makes it more attractive, whether it is really useful (as useful as joining one mailing list for example).
And, without any clear reason I also just added an application in my own profile. (dasar latah juga nih nyokapnya si Angie. LOL.) The first conspicuous application is ADDICTED TO SEX AND THE CITY. So? I chose this application. If I am not mistaken, this is a bit similar to "I am a fan of …" so that hopefully I will find other people who are also addicted to this serial? so that I can have a lively discussion about it? If that is so, just wait and see.
FYI, several months ago, I also chose one community (group) to be one member. For those who have visited my blog and read some posts, I believe they will know my interest: GENDER, WOMEN, and FEMINISM. In fact I wanted to join a group like that, but I didn’t find one. So, I chose "Indonesian Girls 4ever". However, until now, there is no activities done by this group members. I posted one writing (that is absolutely related to feminism, women empowerment). Unfortunately, no response from other members.
(Aha … I just left the group!!)
Now, going back to ADDICTED TO SEX AND THE CITY APPLICATION. I am not really addicted to this serial actually. Only when I was busy writing my thesis in 2005, this serial was one way to release boredom and was attacked by sleepiness. And I only watched two sessions of all sessions. So, perhaps I don’t really know much about this serial, except the last two sessions that I watched.
Now I am waiting whether I will get any new network based on this application.
KPDE 10.55 250108

I sometimes think that not knowing something is better than knowing. Or, not knowing makes someone’s life more peaceful.

In Javanese culture, in general, and in Central Java (or Semarang) in particular, people suggest that when someone is hospitalized, he or she is to leave the hospital (after getting cured) NOT on Saturday. Why? Javanese people believe that when someone leaves the hospital on Saturday, he or she is “doomed” to be back to the hospital, to be hospitalized again not long after that.

Although my family don’t have Javanese blood in our bodies, we somewhat believe in that so-called “myth”. It is easily understood because we have been living in Java for decades. Therefore, when my youngest sister was hospitalized last December (from the Christmas’ eve until the New Year’s eve), and the doctor let her go home on Saturday (December 29), my family chose to bring her home on Sunday December 30. (Un)fortunately, on that Saturday morning December 29, her temperature increased again and she got chilled terribly. This made the doctor ask us to let her stay in the hospital longer. We ourselves didn’t dare to bring her home.

Two days after that, Monday December 31 she seemed much better. She also started to feel bored of the situation in the hospital while her elder sisters felt exhausted attending her days and nights. My younger sister proposed an idea to bring the youngest home. Around 1pm when the doctor came to check her condition, I asked him that possibility. To our heart’s relief, he let us to bring her home.

Meanwhile, at the administration office, I met a guy who paid his sister’s expense. He was so in a hurry that he didn’t wait for the hospital to give him the computerized receipt. He simply said that he would come back afterwards to take the receipt and the change. (He didn’t live far from the hospital.) When asked by one of the nurses, he said, “We want to bring her home as soon as possible since tomorrow is Tuesday. We’ve got to do it before 4pm.” While giving you-know-what-I-mean look toward the nurse as well as to bewildered me.

I was dumbfounded. I didn’t ask him to explain what he meant. My being wise guy made me draw a conclusion—or a rhetorical question—whether the Javanese also treat Tuesday the same as Saturday as a “bad day” to go home from the hospital. Since that out of the blue made me uneasy, I called my mom (I was at the hospital attending my youngest sister together with Angie at that time) to pick us up before 4pm. ((NOTE: although it was still Monday, Javanese people believe that after 4pm, it could be considered to “have entered” or “to be counted” Tuesday already.)

(FYI, we left the hospital after 4pm because of some things. I didn’t tell my family about my “new finding” that Tuesday is not a good day to leave the hospital, not different from Saturday.)

*****

Friday January 11 my youngest sister’s temperature increased again.

Sunday January 13, her body was very weak and the temperature was still high although we already took her to one doctor whose house was close to our dwelling place. The medicine that particular doctor gave didn’t work at all to decrease her temperature. Consequently, we decided to take her to the (same) hospital again. She had to be hospitalized due to dengue fever. Two weeks before, it was due to typhoid.

My mom commented, “We’ve avoided bringing home from the hospital on Saturday before this. However God “destined” that she had to be hospitalized again, what can we do? This is obviously out of our power.”

I kept quiet. I remembered the guy giving me you-know-what-I-mean look to explain why he brought her sister home in a hurry around two weeks before. This made me think that I had better not hear such a “rubbish myth” than I made myself sound so ridiculous and silly.

(I wrote this on January 18, 2008. My youngest sister was let go home on the day believed as the best day for Muslims. Since the doctor came to check her condition early, around 10.30—compared to the previous doctor who was responsible to treat her last December—I could ask my Mom to pick us up before 12, to make sure that it was STILL FRIDAY.

PT56 21.00 180108

Minggu 6 Januari 2008 aku mendapatkan undangan resepsi perkawinan seorang rekan kerja di Semarang. Seperti biasa, aku mengajak Angie untuk menemaniku. (NOTE: I am not really JOMBLO, because I have a plus one, my beloved daughter. LOL.) Salah satu “resiko” mengajak Angie ke resepsi perkawinan, aku harus menyatukan dress code dengannya: celana jeans. Alhasil, hari itu pun aku memakai celana jeans. Sebagai padanannya, agar aku nampak tidak terlalu informal (plus maskulin) aku memilih memilih T-shirt yang bermodel feminine, karena ada hiasan manik-manik di bagian dada. Untuk menambah penampilanku agar lebih feminine (meskipun aku memakai celana jeans) aku membawa tas tangan yang modelnya feminine pula, plus sepatu boots (mengurangi kefemininan penampilanku yah? Ah biarin deh. LOL.)

Sebagian rekan kerja perempuan yang “terhitung” lumayan baru di tempat kerjaku nampak memakai baju yang feminine pula, dan saling memuji penampilan satu sama lain, “Wah … bajumu bagus…” dll. Salah satu dari mereka mengomentari penampilanku, “Wah, Bu Nana asik banget pakai celana jeans?”

(NOTE: di tips-tips yang biasa muncul di tabloid maupun majalah “wanita”, kalo tidak salah ingat, celana jeans tidak termasuk yang direkomendasikan untuk dipakai perempuan ke resepsi, bahkan cenderung untuk dihindari, karena memberi kesan informal dan kurang feminin. Sebagian besar, kalau tidak semua tips menyarankan agar perempuan tampil feminin tatkala mengunjungi sebuah pesta.)

*****

Pulang dari resepsi aku mengajak Angie window shopping di DP Mall, salah satu mall terbaru di Semarang, yang telah kutulis di blog setelah launchingnya akhir Agustus 2007 lalu, namun aku belum pernah kesana. Akhirnya untuk menghindari tatapan mata yang bertanya, “Masak sih Ma’am, bu Nana belum ke DP Mall? Kan deket?” terus menerus, LOL, aku berhasil pula menyempatkan diri ke DP Mall.

FYI, sudah lama sekali aku ga jalan-jalan ke mall dengan penampilan yang lumayan “wah”, biasanya cowboy-nan gitu deh: celana jeans, T-shirt biasa (tanpa manik-manik), tas punggung, plus sepatu “jalan” (read  sepatu yang enak buat jalan jauh, karena ga bakal bikin kaki sakit). Sudah lama sekali atau malah belum pernah yah? Lupa. LOL. Ternyata hari itu, banyak salesman/salesgirl yang tiba-tiba tertarik menawariku membeli ini itu. Tentu saja hal ini membuatku heran.

“Ada apa ya Sayang?” tanyaku ke Angie.

“Mama nampak seperti nyonya-nyonya kaya kali. Terutama tas Mama yang baru ini loh yang menarik perhatian orang,” kata Angie, berusaha analitikal. LOL.

“They were cheated, then. I don’t belong to the haves,” komentarku ke Angie, sambil kita berdua cekikikan geli.

(NOTE: “cekikikan” berarti ketawa kecil, atau dengan nada rendah. Lawan katanya “cekakakan”. LOL.)

*****

Kamis 10 Januari 2008, aku mengajak Angie menjenguk seorang rekan kerja yang dirawat di rumah sakit, karena typhus. (“Sedang musim ya mbak?” kata adikku heran, mendengar rekan kerjaku ini terkena typhus. FYI, adik bungsuku ini barusan masuk rumah sakit selama satu minggu, dari malam Natal sampai malam tahun baru karena typhus.)

“Setelah itu kita jalan-jalan!” kataku ke Angie.

“Kalau kita jalan-jalan, Mama bawa tas Mama yang keren itu ya Ma? Biar nanti para salesman/salesgirl jadi tertarik nawarin Mama beli ini itu,” rayu Angie, iseng.

“I think it was not only the hand bag, honey, but it also included the clothes and the boots I was wearing,” kataku agak keberatan. “Kalo cuma sekali-sekali pake sepatu boots jalan-jalan ke mall sih ga papa. Itu aja kan karena kita barusan ke resepsi pernikahan. Kalo tiap kali jalan-jalan, Mama pake sepatu hak tinggi begitu, capek dong, dan kasihan kaki Mama.”

Meskipun aku bilang keberatan ke Angie, akhirnya aku pun mengikuti keinginannya. Aku membawa tas tangan yang lumayan feminine, namun bukan tas yang kubawa ke resepsi rekan kerjaku. Sebagai ganti sepatu hak tinggi, aku memakai sandal hak tinggi, yang kata Abangku, “They are too ‘loud’.” Karena berwarna keemasan. Semenjak Abang berkomentar begitu, aku jarang memakainya. Bukan karena komentar Abang loh (toh dia tinggal jauh banget dari Semarang), namun karena aku sendiri lebih suka memakai sepatu “jalan” yang membuat kakiku ga bakal kesakitan meskipun aku jalan sampai berkilo-kilo meter. Aku juga memakai T-shirt yang “bagus” (well, menurutku sih. )

Memasuki pelataran parkir Rumah Sakit Roemani, out of the blue, sandal sebelah kiri rusak. Waduh. “Ga jadi jalan-jalan nih entar ke CL?” kataku dalam hati. “Yang, sandal Mama lepas nih yang kiri,” bisikku ke Angie. Angie bengong melihatnya. LOL.

Akhirnya, waktu berjalan memasuki rumah sakit, dengan pede (alias cuek LOL), aku tenteng sandal sebelah kiri, aku berjalan sembari menjinjitkan kaki kiri, karena kaki kanan memakai sandal hak tinggi, sehingga aku ga keliatan seperti orang pincang. Mungkin orang-orang ga akan begitu memperhatikan kakiku, kalau aku tidak menenteng sandal sebelah kiri dengan mencolok. Lah, mau bagaimana? Aku ga punya tas plastik di dalam tas tangan untuk menyimpan sandal kiri yang naas itu. LOL.

FYI, aku ga sempat memperhatikan orang-orang di sekitarku, meskipun aku tahu sebagian dari mereka tersenyum geli menatapku. Mungkin geli campur kasihan. LOL. Namun Nana terlalu pede untuk merasa tidak nyaman karena tatapan mata orang-orang itu. Cie… LOL.

Tatkala sedang di dalam rumah sakit, hujan turun deras sekali. “Ga jadi jalan-jalan ke CL ya Sayang? Kita ke toko buku Toga Mas aja,” kataku ke Angie. Angie mengangguk.

Waktu akan pulang, di teras rumah sakit banyak sekali pengunjung yang sedang berteduh, menunggu hujan reda. Dan jelas aku adalah sasaran pemandangan yang “indah” dilihat, namun dengan sengaja aku menghindari tatapan mata mereka langsung ke mataku.

“Mama kok bisa cuek gitu sih? Ga malu?” tanya Angie.

“Ya cuek ajalah Sayang, ga papa. Ini kan “kecelakaan” yang bisa terjadi ke siapa saja.” Jawabku.

Sebelum mampir ke Toga Mas, aku beli sendal jepit terlebih dahulu di depan Rumah Sakit Roemani. Bukan karena kepedeanku habis, LOL, namun agar aku tak perlu menjinjitkan kaki sebelah kiri tatkala berjalan. LOL.

PT56 19.01 100108

Again, another post of one blogger who praised me. (Dasar narsis! Tambah gedhe deh nih kepalaku! LOL.) Read this yah?

http://www.pelopor.nl/2007/in-praise-of-indonesian-weblogs/

In praise of Indonesian weblogs
Posted by: Colson in indonesia

How to get to know “everything you always wanted to know about” RI?

There is the press (or http://www.indonesia-news.com/) of course. Usually that results in rather scanty information. Considerable superior insight can be provided by books on Indonesia – but they usually take a lot of time. Even more tempting is going there. Some may do it as a backpacker, others may prefer a package deal, Bali included. But the chosen ones, as is the case with me, can consult his (her) Indonesian daughters in law. Or one may combine each and every one of these possibilities.

However I left out one of the best and easiest methods: Indonesian weblogs.

I have to confess I’m a rather careless and incompetent driver on the digital highway. I usually blunder into all kinds of ICT problems. My next of kin have to help me out at least once or twice a week. But fortunately you don’t need a driver’s license, nor other skills or intelligence to have and give opinions. So, that’s what I’ve made my specialty: using every opportunity to read and leave comments on weblogs. Lately I’ve been focusing on Indonesian weblogs – that is those which are in English.

The Indonesian Blogosphere is thriving. In “the blogger of the week” A. Fatih Syuhud has highlighted over 75 of the best ones. I think he usually makes a good choice. Here I take the liberty to mention my own choice. The best three only. Three authentic Indonesian bloggers in English which are very informative and worthwhile. Informative, worthwhile and contradictory to the current prejudices on every country that has a population which is overwhelmingly Muslim. Yes, hardcore zealots have done a lot of harm to the public relations of their religion.

Actually the situation is often different from what it appears to be. Check for instance a Bandung based voice of the liberal Islam . It’s a network, they claim, so it’s a kind of joint venture I presume. It consists of factual articles, cool attitudes, sound reasoning, open mindedness, free of religious righteousness. In stead of being defensive, this site presents the reasonable views of the intellectual mainstream in Indonesian Islam. There’s only one drawback: the entries, albeit being challenging, brave and intelligent, are rather scarce.

Another one that made quite an impression on me is Nana Podungge – she is a lecturer in English in Semarang. And a one woman army of feminism as well. She has well founded convictions and presents them eloquently. Her voice is loud and clear and can not be overheard by the old, macho, chauvinist pigs. There is no doubt in my mind she still has some severe struggles to fight however. Women’s rights are not equal yet – not at all. A lot of the same issues the second wave of feminism in Europe had to deal with, she deals with now. Even the topic of polygamy has been made respectable by the religious zealots. But Nana may lead the counter attack.

The third weblog of my choice is proudly presented by a young woman by the name of Marisa Duma . It is a sophisticated one, by a seemingly sophisticated lady from Jakarta. I can not but admire the looks of the blog. And the way Marisa handles it. The articles often have the quality of essays. And although there is a wide range of topics, they are limited enough to be focused. Moreover the weblog is overtly highbrow with global ambitions. Refreshingly self confident, but without any smugness. To cut it short: a good one, a great one.

Well, indeed, my conclusion is: Indonesia is versatile, the Indonesian blogosphere is vibrant.

Wanna read some comments on this post? Just click the link I inserted above, will ya?

KPDE 19.09 030108

Rumah
Sakit Bhakti Wira Tamtama Semarang, atau yang (mungkin) lebih dikenal
sebagai Rumah Sakit Tentara (RST) terletak di Jalan Dr. Soetomo, dekat
sekali dengan Tugumuda, salah satu landmark kota Semarang. Waktu aku
kecil dulu (baca  aku duduk di bangku SD), orang tuaku biasa mengajak
anak-anaknya periksa ke dokter mata Dr. Widagdo di RST lewat pintu
masuk ‘belakang’ yang terletak di daerah yang disebut Karangasem (aku
lupa nama jalannya LOL). Namun sekarang pintu masuk lewat belakang
(dulu kupikir itulah jalan masuk utama alias ‘depan’) itu tidak lagi
dibuka untuk umum, sehingga semua pasien, penjenguk pasien, dll harus
masuk melalui pintu gerbang yang terletak di Jalan Dr. Soetomo.
Di
rumah sakit inilah, adikku diopname sejak malam Natal 2007 sampai
menjelang malam tahun baru 2008. Dengan alasan yang tidak kuketahui
secara pasti, tempatnya yang strategis di tengah kota nampaknya tidak
dimaksimalkan oleh pihak pengelola, sehingga misalnya bisa bersaing
dengan rumah sakit yang lain, agar mendapatkan prestise yang lebih
tinggi.
Ibu dan adikku, yand dipanggil Angie TeLa, memutuskan agar
adikku yang paling kecil, yang dipanggil TeLi oleh Angie, untuk
ditempatkan di kamar nomor 2 dengan dua alasan. Pertama, takut
sendirian jika berada di kamar nomor 1, (ngeri dengan rumah sakit yang
tentu “spooky” LOL). Kedua, tentu harganya lebih ekonomis dibandingkan
jika dirawat di kamar nomor 1. Di kamar nomor 2, ada tiga buah tempat
tidur, untuk tiga pasien. Di atas tempat tidur, ada sebuah selimut,
sebuah bantal, dan sarung bantal beserta sprei yang tidak pernah
diganti, semenjak adikku masuk sampai meninggalkan rumah sakit. (Dengan
tidak sopannya aku sempat memprotes seorang suster mengapa sarung
bantal, sprei, dan selimut tidak diganti setiap hari, seperti di hotel.
LOL. Suster itu diam saja, tidak menanggapi.)
Masing-masing pasien
mendapatkan sebuah paket, tatkala pertama kali masuk, yang berisi
sebuah gelas ukuran tanggung, tutup gelas, pasta gigi kecil, sekitar 30
gram, sebuah sikat gigi, sebuah sendok makan, sebuah sabun, dan sebuah
waslap—kayaknya gitu deh namanya. LOL. Setiap hari pasien mendapatkan
makan tiga kali, namun tanpa air minum sama sekali, sehingga keluarga
pasien harus menyediakan sendiri air minum, baik air putih, maupun teh
hangat.
Satu hal yang ‘kusukai’ dari RST ini adalah penengok pasien,
baik keluarga, maupun pihak lain, bisa datang 24 jam. Aku dan adikku
bisa setiap saat datang untuk bergantian jaga. Angie pun bisa datang
menjenguk tantenya setelah pulang sekolah, tanpa terbatasi jam besuk.
Kita juga tidak diusir untuk segera pulang jika jam besuk usai.
Namun,
seperti biasa, selalu ada plus minus dalam satu hal. Karena ‘sangat
ramah’ terhadap pengunjung inilah satu peristiwa tidak enak terjadi.
Minggu dini hari tatkala adikku terlelap di atas karpet kecil di pojok
ruangan, tiba-tiba terbangun karena merasa ada gerakan yang
mencurigakan masuk ke dalam kamar dimana adik bungsuku dirawat. Ada
seorang laki-laki menatap adikku, seolah-olah ingin memastikan apakah
dia sedang tidur atau terjaga. Adikku yang super galak itu, LOL,
langsung bertanya,
“Ada apa Mas?”
Laki-laki itu menggumam, dengan nada bertanya, “Pasien Risma?”
“Bukan!” jawab adikku.
“Oh, maaf, salah kamar,” kata orang itu lagi, kemudian keluar.
Adikku
yang masih setengah tidur setengah sadar, ditambah mata minusnya, tentu
tidak sempat melihat wajah laki-laki itu dengan jelas.
Keesokan harinya, keluarga pasien di kamar sebelah kehilangan dua buah handphone.
                                                      *****
Thank
God, Senin 31 Desember 2007, dokter Taufik yang bertanggung jawab atas
sakitnya adik bungsuku telah membolehkannya pulang. Sekarang dia
tinggal dalam proses pemulihan kondisi tubuhnya. Di rumah, kita semua
bisa saling gantian mengurusnya, tanpa perlu meninggalkan rumah. Beban
psikologis yang selama ini menggayuti kami sekeluarga telah pergi.
Alhamdulillah.
PT56 18.33 010108