Blog si Feminis

This article is written to counter what is stated
in one local newspaper in my hometown, entitled “Dilema Gerakan Perempuan”
(“Dilemma in Women’s Movement”). In short, the writer of the article stated
that Women’s Movement is hampered by one main thing—that is to educate
children. When a woman wants to pursue career outside the house, she is not to
forget her main duty in the family—educating children.

This article focuses on two things; firstly why
women’s m0vement was mentioned to start in the nineteenth century, and
secondly, to counter the writer’s statement that the main duty of a woman in
the family is to educate children.

Ali Anshori—the writer’s article—stated that
women’s movement started in the nineteenth century. In fact, if we want to date
back to the previous centuries, there had been some brilliant women who had
their books published where they questioned whether women were really created
to be the second after men, and also to encouraged their contemporaries to
“rise” to be equal with men. . For example, Margaret Cavendish (1623-1674), whose work was admired by Virginia
Woolf, especially Cavendish’s “Female Orations” (Gilbert & Gubar page
72-73), Mary Astell (1666-1731) with her “A Serious Proposal to the Ladies”,
and Mary Woolstonecraft (1759-1797) with her most well-known book entitled “A
Vindication of the Rights of Woman”. These three works contained “awakening”
ideas for women.

Nevertheless, indeed we can say that women’s
movement became solid in the middle of the nineteenth century, with the first
women’s “summit” on July 19, 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York, America. The idea
of this summit came from Elizabeth Cady Stanton who later wrote “The Woman’s
Bible” that criticized the masculine bias in Judeo-Christian tradition.

To read the complete article, just click the following site
http://afeministblog.blogspot.com

Thanks friends,
Nana

Beberapa hari yang lalu aku ngepost artikel tentang Kristina salah satu penyanyi dangdut Indonesia yang sedang terkena masalah, whether to continue her career as a singer or to stay at home. Aku sendiri tidak begitu mengikuti gossip tentangnya (memang aku bisa dikategorikan termasuk cuek mengikuti infotainment yang membosankan itu), kecuali berita terakhir yang kubaca di salah satu surat kabar yang mengatakan bahwa management yang ada di bawahnya harus dibubarkan karena tidak ada dana untuk membayar orang-orang yang ada di bawah naungan management tersebut.

Selain aku post tulisan itu di blog ku tercinta ini, aku juga mengirimkannya ke beberapa milis yang kuikuti, termasuk milis PEREMPUAN. Dan, ternyata tulisan itu mendapatkan respons yang beragam dari para member milis, terutama setelah ada seorang member yang memakai nama Ina memberikan komentar yang menunjukkan bahwa dia tidak membaca secara jeli artikel yang ku-post. Di satu sisi aku gembira mengetahui bahwa tulisanku mendapatkan banyak perhatian dari member milis. Di sisi lain, aku juga sedih, betapa anggota milis PEREMPUAN yang kupikir (kuharapkan???) share the same opinion tentang perempuan, masih juga terbelenggu dengan pemikiran yang misoginis yang dibalut dengan nama agama.

Tambah sedih lagi tatkala aku membaca artikel di koran SM hari ini, tulisan seorang laki-laki yang langsung bisa kukatakan dia tidak tahu apa-apa tentang apa itu yang disebut kodrat. HAH!!! Aku sudah gatal banget untuk menulis sesuatu untuk mengomentarinya, but aku ga bisa nongkrong di depan komputer lama-lama tadi pagi. Aku harus mengantar anakku yang sedang pengen mengunjungi sobatnya. Aku juga harus membawa motor ke bengkel. Dan, kebetulan seorang teman milis dari Jakarta baru saja sampe Semarang, dan berharap bisa bertemu denganku sebelum aku berangkat kerja. Pada waktu yang bersamaan, aku ingin ngecek blog ku, untuk mencari tulisan lamaku yang kuberi judul PEREMPUAN DALAM KULTUR PATRIARKI. Aku ga punya arsipnya di komputer. Akhirnya? Aku ke warnet, dan belum jadi ke bengkel.

Udah ah, mbak Icha, teman milisku itu barusan sms, dia siap kukunjungi. Aku harus off sekarang.

KPDE 12.32 180407

From a friend’s blog at http://doncasterhaikupoet.blog.co.uk

Women to rule new town

China is to create the world’s first ‘Woman Town’ where women make all the decisions and disobedient men face punishments.

Chongqing is to convert its Shuangqiao district into Woman Town, covering 2.3 square km, reports Chongqing Morning News.

The slogan: “A woman never makes a mistake. A man can never reject a woman’s request” will be carved into the town gates.

“Construction will take around two years, and the place will become a very good destination for entertainment and relaxation,” says Li Jigang, director of Shuangqiao district tourism bureau.

“In any tour group entering this town, female members would play the deciding role, concerning shopping and other items of the itinerary.

“We are drafting a township law, which stipulates clearly how men should be punished and for what. A disobedient man will be punished by kneeling on an uneven wooden board or by washing dishes in a restaurant.”

What has happened to Kristina—one potential dangdut singer
in

Indonesia

can be considered as one example of how men in

Indonesia

generally still think that their wives are their property. Islam has been
abused by many conservative men in this case. Men who are thought as the head
of the family have full rights to decide what to do in the family, including to
let their wife work outside the house, or even do a simple thing to do, just go
outside the house, let’s say to go shopping or visiting her own parents.

I still remember when I was a kid, my elementary school
teacher told my classmates and me about an example of a saliha (pious) wife who
did not dare to go out of the house because her husband told her to stay home
all the time before he went to war. Even when her parent was about to die, she
insisted not to leave the house by saying, “Tell my parent that I cannot leave
the house because my husband didn’t let me go. Send my regards to my parent.”
Even, when her parent died, she stayed put.

When someone told Prophet Muhammad about this ‘incident’ by
saying bad thing about the woman (because she did not care to visit her ailing
parent), Prophet Muhammad was believed to say, “The parent will go to heaven
easily for he has such a pious daughter.”

The message that my teacher wanted to tell us was clear, a
woman must always listen to what her husband says.

I used to believe in such a fairy tale. However now I keep
questioning whether that really happened in the time of Prophet Muhammad, or it
was just a made-up story by irresponsible and inferior men to make women listen
to what they say.

Going back to Kristina. Although she does not want to admit
that her husband forbids her to resume her career as one potential dangdut
singer in

Indonesia

after getting married, it is clearly seen that her husband has misused the
teaching of Islam to show his gut as husband. He knew Kristina as one popular
singer, with her busy schedules for show, and that she was one main breadwinner
in the family. Under Kristina, there are many people who earn their money by
working in the management of Kristina as a singer. Al Amin—Kristina’s
husband—is not supposed to forget that. With the dissolve of the management,
many people lose their jobs and we know that is it difficult to get a job in

Indonesia

nowadays. Kristina herself is not happy with that but she cannot do much
because she stopped singing after her wedding.

She is in between now. Will she continue her choice to be Al
Amin’s wife and be a pious wife to listen to anything her husband says to her?
Or will she resume her career to make her parents happy by supporting their
life financially and at the same time she can open some job vacancies for some
people?

I am wondering if she made any prenuptial agreement with her
husband about her career.

PT56 12.35 160407

Vitamin C Membantu Atasi Kanker

Penelitian di Selandia Baru yang dipublikasikan
belum lama ini menyebutkan bahwa selain baik untuk kesehatan, vitamin C juga
mampu membantu mengatasi kanker. Pasalnya vitamin itu dapat mengefektifkan
kemoterapi.

Dr Margret Vissers dari Free Radical Research
Group Otago University mengatakan, penelitian laboratorium untuk pertama
kalinya tersebut menunjukkan, vitamin C bukan sekedar suplemen kesehatan yang
dikonsumsi saat orang terkena flue. Tetapi penting juga untuk mengontrol
beberapa aktivitas sel, kematian sel, dan pertumbuhan sel kanker dalam tumor.
Bahkan, tanpa vitamin C, sel-sel tubuh tidak dapat bekerja dengan baik.

“Tanpa ini, anda akan terkena masalah besar dan
dengan level vitamin C rendah, Anda tidak sehat,” ujarnya. Vissers menjelaskan,
sejak pelayaran penjelajah Inggris Kapten james Cook yang menjaga semua krunya
bebas dari penyakit kudis dengan buah jeruk pada akhir abad 18, peran buah dan
sayur bagi kesehatan tubuh manusia mulai diketahui.

Namun demikian, saat itu belum ada seorang pun
yang dapat menentukan proses tubuh yang membuat vitamin C sebagai bahan
penting. Serangkaian penelitian menunjukkan vitamin C memegang peranan kunc
dalam kesehatan sel tubuh dan memiiki fungsi utama dalam mengontrol aktivitas
sel di seluruh tubuh.

Vitamin C bukan obat untuk menyembuhkan kanker.
Namun, penelitian menunjukkan saat kadar vitamin C rendah atau tidak ada dalam
tubuh, sel kanker dalam tumor dapat membuat lebih banyak pembuluh darah tumbuh
dengan baik dan menahan kemoterapi.

“Ini juga berarti bahwa kekurangan vitamin C dapat
meningkatkan pertumbuhan tumor dan menyebabkan terapi tidak efektif.”

Suara Merdeka Kamis, 12 April 2007 halaman 21

Oleh Darmanto Jatman

Telat bagi Johny adalah kegagalan orang jawa untuk
kedispinan dalam waktu, bahkan gusti tuti, telat adalah cara Kromo untuk tidak
salah karena gagal memenuhi janji.

Celakanya orang Jawa sudah kebacut kondang
sebagai bangsa yang kurang menghargai waktu (Kuncaraningrat) sekalipun
Jawa dikenal sebagai bangsa yang petung banget dengan waktu. Lihatlah
kerelaan Kromo untuk memusokan padinya karenya jatuhnay udan salah mangsa.
Begitu pun cara kraton menentukan waktu sekaten, detail dari menit ke menit
mulai dengan persiapan Bregada Bugis sampai gunungan ke tenah alun-alun.

“Bukan cuma itu,” ujar Gusti Tuti,
“wektu aku mantenan dulu dheng-nya sangat wektu itu dihitung dari
detik ke detik. Heran aku, kok sekarang naik pesawat kok di “delay” 10 menit
tidak diumumkan, boro-boro minta maaf, padahal pada zaman Belanda itu, kapan
sepur melintas teteg Lempuyangan saja bisa dijadikan tanda, jam berapa
sekarang?”

memang, waktu mengungkapkan “paradoks” jam yang
cukup kentara (baca è significant) satu paradoks yang
menunjukkan adanya kekuatan rohani yang mengatur hidup manusia. Dengarlah
ucapan Yu Darmas: “Sira aja kawasesa dening wektu, nanging dadiya wektu iku
dhewe.” Karena jangan biarkan dirimu dikejar-kejar waktu, jadi serba salah,
terlambat. “Terlambat adalah tirani waktu,” dari masyarakat modern yang
waktunya ditentukan oleh orang lain.

“Come on Bung!” jawab Ciprut, “Waktu itu,
jam itu, adalah cara canggih untuk menata kehidupan bersama. Ingatlah janji
Yang Kung yang katanya mau njemput aku dari sekolah pukul 12.00, ternyata
sampai pukul 13.00 beliau belum muncul juga, itu tidak hanya merusak jadwal les
renang saya, tapi seluruh hari harus di-reschedule to ya!” (hebat jga
cucu kontemporer ini). “Itulah sebabnya saya minta Yang Kung membelikan jam
tangan Rolex, supaya tidak ada yang telat dalam janjian.”

Ya, ya, janjian, komitmen, adalah bukti kegagalan
orang jawa untuk mengatur kehidupan bersama!

Bagi Kromo sih, waktu adalah tirani kekuasaan yang
membuat manusia terdesak, terppet, terkendali! Dengarlah kata-kata Kromo “Pada
zaman pewayangan dulu orang bisa membebaskan diri dari tirani waktu Abimanyu
yang nurut petung baru 20-an tahun menikah dengan eyangnya Dewi Utari – nah
karena berontak pada waktu itulah, para dalang Jawa membuat Dewi Utari itu muda
terus – tidak dikuasai waktu sehingga tetap cantik untuk dinikahi Abimanyu.
“Lha saya, ujar Kromo adalah contoh orang yang bebas dari tirani waktu, tidak
seperti Ciprut yang dikuasai habis oleh waktu, pukul 05.00 bangun, pukul 06.00
sudah siap ke sekolah, pukul 16.00 les renang, pukul 8.00 thit siap
menyelesaikan PR sekolah – lha njur merdekanya kapan Prut!

Pertanyaan adalah: “Bagaimana membebaskan diri
dari dampat telat bagi orang Jawa?!

Enak saja Kromo menjawab: “Waktu
pesawat Garuda datang ke Yogya, terhempas dan terbakar mestinya saya naik
pesawat itu, untung saya terlambat, jadi saya selamat!”

Tuhan tidak membuat waktu terlalu cepat atau
sebaliknya terlalu lambat dan semestinya. (Tuhan menjadikan segala sesuatunya
“indah” pada waktunya, ujar Ciprut meniru eyangnya.)

Suara Merdeka Minggu April 15, 2007, halaman 29

Nana’s comment:

Kedua orang tuaku yang berdarah Gorontalo, hidup di sana selama mungkin
kurang lebih 15-18 tahun di awal kehidupan mereka sebelum hijrah ke tanah Jawa
adalah orang yang sangat menghargai waktu (atau sangat diatur oleh waktu? LOL).
Being punctual is something very important in their life. My mom, especially,
paling tidak suka bila diajak janjian oleh teman-temannya menggunakan patokan
“Bakdal Asar: misalnya, setelah waktu shalat Asar itu bisa jadi pukul 15.00
(kalau waktu shalat Asar datang sebelum itu), tapi pukul 17.00 pun bisa
dihitung sebagai bakdal Asar. LOL. My mom yang sering bukanlah seseorang yang
easy going dalam hal waktu sering ngomel-ngomel tatkala teman-temannya datang
terlambat ketika menghadiri suatu acara. LOL. Sampai di usianya yang telah
membuatnya bisa memiliki KTP seumur hidup di Indonesia, my mom is still the
same person, tidak bisa menolerir keterlambatan tatkala ada janjian. Dan memang
beliau sangat terkenal di antara teman-temannya sebagai seseorang yang
punctual.

Hal ini tentu menurun kepada anak-anaknya. Aku di rumah yang paling sering
diomelin kakakku (tatkala kita masih kecil, masih hidup di satu rumah, sering
pergi bareng-bareng, dan aku merupakan makhluk yang keluar kamar paling akhir,
karena ini itu à bisa dibaca dandan, mematut-matut diri di
depan kaca LOL) ternyata di lingkunganku sendiri (kerja, kuliah, dll) tetap
merupakan orang yang lebih punctual dibandingkan yang lain-lain.

Ingat salah satu peristiwa dalam hidupku sekitar
tahun 1995. Aku bekerja di salah satu English course di Semarang dan ada salah
seorang siswa, seorang laki-laki purnawirawan berusia 73 tahun waktu itu. Dia
punya waktu luang yang sangat luang LOL, dan uang nganggur yang lumayan
nganggur LOL. Satu pujian yang kuberikan padanya, di usianya yang telah
berkepala tujuh tidak membuatnya surut untuk melakukan kegiatan ini itu, misal
dengan menikmati masa pensiun dengan bermalas-malasan di rumah. Salah satu
kegiatannya adalah mengikuti kursus bahasa, mulai dari Inggris, (aku dan dia
bertemu di English course tempatku bekerja, tempat dia belajar), Italia, dan
Jepang. Dia mengutarakan niatnya untuk juga ambil les bahasa Prancis. Berhubung
waktu aku duduk di bangku SMA dan kuliah aku pernah juga mendapatkan
pelajaran/kuliah bahasa Francaise, aku bilang ke dia kalau aku pun tertarik
untuk belajar bahasa Prancis lagi.

Beberapa waktu kemudian dia bilang ke aku kalau
dia sudah daftar kursus bahasa Prancis dan mengajakku untuk bergabung
dengannya. Dia memintaku untuk tidak usah memikirkan biaya kursus karena dia
yang akan membayarnya. Aku yang waktu itu sibuk mengajar di sana sini, belum
lagi siswa privat yang tersebar di banyak penjuru kota Semarang tentu tidak
memiliki waktu luang, seluang si Bapak Purnawirawan itu.

Kamu bisa nebak apa komentarnya tatkala
mendengarku mengatakan tak punya waktu luang?

“Don’t let time control you. You’ve got to control
time!!!”

Cerita lain. Dalam kuliah Professor Hugh Egan, aku
tercatat sebagai mahasiswa yang tidak pernah datang terlambat, aku selalu
datang lebih dahulu dibandingkan Prof. Egan, satu hal yang dianggap agak aneh
oleh Prof. Egan mengingat dia pun telah terkena “racun” omongan orang bahwa
orang Jawa itu lelet, alon-alon asal kelakon. LOL. Prof. Egan yang kadang usil
itu menggodaku, “You are a true student, eh Nana? You always come earlier than
your lecturer does.” Di kesempatan lain, tatkala aku akan menggodanya balik,
“Hello Prof, I am a true student, right? I came earlier than you did this
morning.” Prof. Egan menjawab, “Nana, I am wondering if you didnt go home but
stayed here the whole weekend?” (FYI, aku ambil dua kelas Prof Egan, yang
jadualnya hari Jumat pukul 08.00-100 dan Senin pukul 08.00-10.00)

Mengenai Tuhan membuat segalanya indah pada
waktunya, well, I believe so. Tatkala Abang “datang” dalam hidupku di
pertengahan tahun 2006, dia datang tepat pada waktu I wanted to have a partner
to debate and argue with, besides to confide in; tepat pada waktu aku begitu
lelah merasa hidup sendiri (tak ada orang di sekitarku yang bagiku bisa kuajak
untuk beradu argumentasi yang bisa mengikuti cara berpikirku yang westernized.
Sombong banget yak aku ini? L orang-orang terdekat yang biasa kuajak
diskusi dan curhat kabur ke kota dan negara lain!!!) Oh well, Abang juga hidup
di negara lain meskipun dia mengaku sebagai ASNAWI (tahu singkatan apaan tuh?
LOL) but he is mostly available for me, via YM, email, sms, maupun telepon.
Very sweet and nice of him.
PT56 13.25 140407

Hari Jumat 13 April
2007 dalam kelas “Telaah Puisi”, aku sengaja memberikan puisi Wanda Coleman
yang berjudul “Women of My Color” ke para mahasiswa untuk dibahas. Salah satu
topik yang kusampaikan kepada mereka adalah bagaimana kita bisa melihat
keterlibatan seorang penyair dalam puisi yang ditulisnya.

(You can refer to my
interpretation on the poem in the previus post.)

Satu background yang
kuberikan kepada mahasiswa yakni bahwa Wanda Coleman adalah seorang penyair
Amerika berkulit hitam, hidup di abad ke 20 dan awal abad 21 ini. jumlah
mahasiswa yang hadir 8 orang, 4 perempuan 4 laki-laki. Bukan bermaksud bias
gender kalau kemudian aku mengelompokkan mereka ke dalam dua kelompok
berdasarkan jenis kelamin, keempat mahasiswa perempuan berdiskusi dalam satu kelompok,
dan keempat mahasiswa laki-laki berdiskusi dalam satu kelompok lain.

Setelah sekitar 10
menit berlalu.

Aku berikan kesempatan pertama kepada
kelompok laki-laki. Salah satu mengatakan bahwa yang dimaksudkan dengan kata
“black” di puisi itu bukan mengacu ke warna kulit melainkan nasib kaum
perempuan yang jatuh ke lembah “hitam” dengan menjadi prostitute. Stanza
pertama yang menyebutkan

i follow the
curve of his penis

and go down

diinterpretasikan sebagai rendahnya posisi
seorang perempuan yang menjadi prostitute di mata kaum laki-laki.

Kebalikan dari itu,
dari kelompok perempuan, seorang mahasiswa menyatakan bahwa si perempuan di
sini justru menikmati actionnya karena kata yang dipilih oleh Coleman “follow
the curve…”. sangat menarik karena hal ini mengingatkanku pada salah satu
scene dalam serial “Sex and the City” ketika Samantha Jones terlihat begitu
menikmati to do blow job kepada seorang courier yang mengantarkan sebuah barang
ke kantornya. Samantha menikmati posisinya sebagai sang “subjek”.

Aku jelaskan
seandainya puisi itu berhenti hanya pada stanza pertama, bisa jadi interpretasi
itu benar. Namun stanza-stanza berikutnya menjelaskan keluhan para perempuan
atas nasib yang menimpa mereka.

Yang ingin
kugarisbawahi dari diskusi itu adalah betapa dari “kubu” perempuan terlihat
jelas mereka menyalahkan kaum laki-laki yang egois, baik laki-laki berkulit
putih maupun laki-laki berkulit hitam yang telah memperpuruk nasib kaum
perempuan kulit hitam di Amerika. Ternyata hal ini sangat menyinggung seorang
mahasiswa laki-laki yang terlihat emosi. If I am not mistaken, mahasiswa ini
mungkin masih berusia muda, di bawah 25 tahun, sedangkan dari kelompok
perempuan ada seorang mahasiswa yang sudah terlihat dewasa di atas 30 tahun.

“kalian ga bisa dong
nyalahin kaum laki-laki melulu! Ga semua laki-laki brengsek seperti yang
ditulis dalam puisi ini,” kata si mahasiswa.

“Loh, kita kan cuma
mengemukakan interpretasi kita atas puisi ini? kita ga bermaksud stereotyping
kok bahwa semua laki-laki seperti itu.”

And what did I do? Ya
ketawa geli ajalah mendengar diskusi itu. LOL. LOL.

PT56 12.30 140407

The Jakarta Post
Saturday, April 7, 2007

Changing views spur divorce rate

The Jakarta Post, Jakarta

It is undeniable that divorce rates in Indonesia are rising, believed to be caused by changing views on holy matrimony. It seems marriage is now merely regarded as one of the many avenues people can take in life.

"I estimate there will be a 3.6 percent increase in divorce rates each year," National Commission for Child Protection secretary general, Arist Merdeka Sirait, said here Friday.

Sarlito Wirawan Sarwono, chairman of the Asian Psychologists’ Association (APA), said, "There is indeed an increasing trend of divorce (in Indonesia). However, I don’t have the percentage on that.

"Nowadays, there are various options for both men and women, like polygamous marriage, cyber sex, one night stands and contraception," he said, adding that the frequency of extramarital relations was also likely to increase.

A psychologist from the University of Indonesia, Winarini Wilman, said divorce often occurred when spouses felt dissatisfied with the inequalities associated with give-and-take aspects of a relationship.

"The availability of opportunities and a person’s moral values about what is good and bad also play significant roles here," she said.

"Most husbands who betray their spouses do so for sexual adventure, while most wives seek more intimate emotional relationships and to upgrade their self-esteem.

"The culture is more tolerant toward infidelity among men. For example, cases in which the wife fails to become pregnant and the man seeks another sexual partner," said Winarini.

According to child protection commission data, from January 2006 to March 2007 a total of 327 divorce cases were reported to the commission, of which nine resulted from infidelity.

Despite Winarini’s view that infidelity was a trait exhibited predominantly by husbands, the commission’s report showed that seven out of nine cases reported had been triggered by wives’ infidelity.

"The reports do not speak (about divorce) in general because the cases that come to the commission are specific," Sarlito said.

Sixty-two percent of divorce cases reported to the commission were the result of the family’s economic condition.

"A wife might also see divorce as a way out of being trapped as the cash cow in a marriage," Winarini said.

Arist said that in 2006, some 15,000 divorce cases went through Jakarta’s five district courts. Of these, 32 percent were triggered by infidelity.

Winarini said divorce between parents could damage children of any age. Adolescents are most vulnerable because they are in the process of developing the faculties of logic and thought. However, the negative impacts associated with divorce can also be felt by children under the age of five.

"Preventive action should start from within one’s self. A person must be able to activate a pattern of thinking that is realistic, proportional and positive," she said.

Winarini pointed out that in a marriage, it is necessary to keep learning about one’s spouse. "Learning about each other is a lifetime process."

She said the keys to marriage success were tolerance and the understanding that people change.

Consolidating the purpose of marriage is also important, because entrance into marriage also means happiness for the sake of all stakeholders in the family — the wife, the husband and the children.

Nana’s comment:
The increasing rates of divorce, in my view, is inevitably also caused by the more financially independence in women. More women pour out to the job field outside the house, make themselves financially independent. More women realize that they are equal with their husbands, moreover with the amount of money they get from their job and they use to support the household needs. However, I am of opinion that the number of men who realize that their wives are equal with them is not as many as the number of women who think that way. The reason is of course, men still think conventionally that they must be the boss in the family, must be the king respected by their wife, while at the same time they forget that women must be respected too. when this kind of relationship happens between a conventional man and a progressive woman, divorce inevitably is likely to happen. The woman thinks that she can survive without her husband now that she has her own paycheck.
Besides, I also agree with Winarini stating that consolidating the purpose of marriage is also important. In the reality many people get married only to follow the consensus that people were born to get married, to be considered as “normal” creature. They still believe that marriage is the only gate to be happy in this life. When they get stuck in their marriage and the marriage in fact shows the contradictory thing—let’s say that marriage does not only tell us about happiness just like what is usually narrated in the fairy tales—and when the women get high confidence to “oppose” the consensus that to be happy is to get married, this will absolutely increase the number of divorce.
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Shattering the myth of the ‘rapacious widow’

Response on Jack London’s “The Law of Life”

Death is as natural as birth. The difference is that birth usually brings happiness to people around the baby born, while death usually gives sadness to people around the deceased person. (Well, at least this is what I oftentimes find in Indonesian’s culture.) I do not know how old this earth is, how many babies have been born, how many people have died. London said, “They did not count, they were episodes. They had passed away like clouds from a summer sky.” People come and go in this world. Their life in this world is just like an episode. “To perpetuate was the task of life” means that it is natural for babies to be born in this world, to continue human being’s life in this world. “Its law was death” means that after undergoing an episode of life in this world, it is natural for people to die. No one escapes from death.

However, it is scary to imagine how someone faces death by being left alone in a cold place, no shelter, no food, no drink, only many wild animals around, like what Koskoosh undergoes in Jack London’s short story entitled “The Law of Life”. For old people who think that their death is close at present time—I concluded that the story in “The Law of Life” happened in an Indian tribe living around the nineteenth century or before that—they choose to be at home in a warm place surrounded people they love such as spouse, children, grandchildren while waiting for their last breath to stop. Nevertheless, nobody can choose what kind of death they prefer.

Waiting for death to come being surrounded by his spouse, children, and grandchildren is something that Koskoosh has to face. He cannot ask his son to take him with the tribesmen because he himself “had abandoned his own father on an upper reach of the Klondike one winter”, and before his son leaves him, Koskoosh says “It is well. I am as a last year’s leaf, clinging lightly to the stem … My eyes no longer show me the way of my feet, and my feet are heavy, and I am tired. It is well.” By saying that, Koskoosh knows the consequence, he will be left alone and wait for death without anybody around. But Koskoosh does not complain. It is, in fact, the way of life of his tribe. Other people in that tribe will experience the same thing. “He had been born close to the earth, close to the earth had he lived, and the law thereof was not new to him. It was the law of all flesh.” I guess, later on, Koskoosh’s son will undergo the same thing too like what his father does, if he does not die in a war as a warrior—one pride in Native American culture—or when hunting animals for food.

Why did those Native American people have such a weird habit—that can be considered as killing old people slowly but cruelly? The hard struggle to survive in that era made them do so. They had to fight with the white people that wanted to rob their territory and the nomadic habit. Instead of being a burden in one community when moving from one area to another area, the old people peacefully “reconciled” with their so-called fate. Sacrificing ourselves mattered much more than the egotism. Isn’t it the core of being a warrior?

Yogya, April 2003