Archive for November, 2006

Nov 30 2006

Look At What Love Has Done

Published by afemaleguest under Song

Some weeks ago, I posted one article here about "What Love Has Done To Me". Now, I want to post the lyric of this song.

LOOK AT WHAT LOVE HAS DONE
by Patty Smith

I woke up this morning feeling lonelyThere's so much my heart just does not understandthere were times nothing really matterednow i find i care to muchthere's life in everything i touch

look at what love has done to mei'm not who i used to beeveryhing is changing, and i will never be the same

look at what love has done to uswhen will we ever learn to trustwe're runnnig out of time, so little time babylook at what love has done to me

now it's late at night i"m here without youtrying to make my way to where you arecan't you see i'll still be here waitingcan't you see our two hearts were alwaysmeant to be as one

look at what love done to uswhen will we ever learn to trustwe're running out of time, there's so little timebaby look at what love has done to me

calling out your name [repeat}look at what love has done to usrunning out of timeBaby look at what love has done to me

KPDE 13.18 011206

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Nov 30 2006

Expensive shoes, anyone?

Published by afemaleguest under Film

Tulisan ini terilhami dari serial film Sex and the City episode "Single Girl’s Right to Shoes"
Bagi yang belum pernah nonton episode ini (final season, lupa nomor berapa), summary cerita begini.
Ketika Carrie mengunjungi temannya yang sedang mengadakan upacara selamatan atas kelahiran anaknya yang ketiga, Carrie harus melepaskan sepatunya di depan pintu karena Kyra, nama si teman ini, mempunyai peraturan di rumahnya bahwa sepatu dilarang dipakai masuk ke dalam rumah karena takut ada bakteri atau virus semacamnya yang menempel di sepatu, demi kesehatan ketiga anaknya. Sebagai tamu yang datang karena diundang, Carrie pun mengikuti peraturan itu meskipun dia merasa tidak nyaman karenanya.
Masalah muncul ketika akan pulang, Carrie tidak mendapati sepatunya. Sepatu itu hilang. (Kayak kejadian di masjid aja yah, ketika shalat Jumat atau shalat tarawih di mana masjid biasanya penuh pengunjung. LOL.) Carrie tampak kecewa karena dua hal: pertama sepatu itu merupakan sepatu kesayangannya (yang kebetulan harganya mahal 485 dollar), kedua, Kyra tidak menunjukkan rasa penyesalan sama sekali. "Kecelakaan" kehilangan itu kan terjadi di rumahnya, dan Carrie melepaskan sepatu ketika masuk ke rumah Kyra itu untuk menghormati peraturan yang dibuat Kyra. Tidak berlebihan bukan kalau Carrie mengharapkan, paling tidak, Kyra merasa bersalah dan menyesal?
Beberapa hari kemudian Carrie berkunjung ke rumah Kyra lagi untuk menanyakan kabar sepatunya apakah sepatu itu telah ditemukan. Sekali lagi Carrie kecewa karena Kyra justru telah melupakan ‘kecelakaan’ itu, dan heran mengapa Carrie harus ‘memperkarakan’ masalah sepele tersebut. Lebih kecewa lagi, tatkala Kyra mengatakan itu salah Carrie mengapa membeli sepatu yang harganya sangat mahal, 485 dollar, sehingga kalau sampai hilang, tidak akan merasa begitu kecewa.
Carrie ngomel-ngomel kepada ketiga sobatnya, Charlotte, Miranda, dan Samantha. Masalah terletak bukan kepada seberapa mahal harga sepatu itu, tapi lebih kepada betapa Kyra–dan juga banyak orang lain, kukira–tidak menghargai pilihan Carrie untuk membelanjakan uangnya untuk membeli sepatu yang seharga "tidak masuk akal" itu bagi seorang Kyra yang sudah menikah dan memiliki tiga anak.
Ini adalah masalah pilihan. Kyra memilih untuk menikah, memiliki anak, sehingga dia dan suaminya harus "membagi" pendapatannya untuk lima orang, yang pada akhirnya menyebabkan membeli sepatu seharga 485 dollar merupakan suatu pemborosan baginya. Carrie menghormati pilihan Kyra tersebut. Dia pun ikut berbahagia dengan pilihan itu, dengan, menghadiri pesta pernikahan Kyra (yang berarti menyumbang), dan memberi Kyra hadiah ketika dia melahirkan anak pertama, kedua, dan ketiga. Kyra seharusnya pun menghormati pilihan Carrie untuk tetap single, dan membelanjakan ‘paycheck’nya untuknya sendiri, yang memungkinkan Carrie untuk memanjakan diri sendiri dengan membeli sepatu yang berharga ‘tidak masuk akal’ bagi orang lain yang menikah dan punya anak.
Now … masih berhubungan dengan memilih sepatu yang pas untuk karakter diri sendiri.
Di tempat kerjaku akulah satu-satunya guru perempuan yang suka memakai sepatu berhak tinggi, not necessarily expensive though. :) Pada waktu aku belum mem’baptis’ diri sebagai Ms. Black, aku suka memakai beberapa warna sepatu, mulai dari hitam, coklat, beige, dan maroon. Semua mempunyai hak minimal 5 cm.
Beberapa tahun yang lalu ada seorang rekan kerja yang ‘nosy’ menanyakan kepadaku apa enaknya memakai sepatu hak tinggi. Aku jawab aja karena aku telah biasa melakukannya, jadi kurang pede aja kalau memakai sepatu yang berhak kurang dari 5 cm. (Kayak di film SATC tersebut, Carrie langsung manyun ke Stanny temannya yang gay, sewaktu dia harus melepaskan sepatunya di rumah Kyra, "Now I feel so tiny." LOL)
Beberapa tahun kemudian, kebetulan ada seorang mantan siswa yang menjadi guru di tempat kerjaku itu, sehingga dia pun menjari rekan kerjaku, dia bilang, dia dan teman-temannya paling suka memperhatikan model sepatu yang kupakai, karena akulah satu-satunya guru perempuan yang suka memakai sepatu berhak tinggi. Meskipun aku agak tersinggung, LOL, (the students preferred looking at my shoes to listening to me), aku anggap aja itu sebagai compliment. :)
Sejak tahun 2004, aku suka memakai sepatu boots berhak kurang lebih 7 cm. (Memakai sepatu boots dengan hak rendah hanya akan membuatku tampak seperti satpam, menurutku, LOL.) Selain itu, aku juga suka memakai sepatu kets, kebiasaan ketika kuliah yang terbawa ke tempat kerja. Lumayan sering, siswa yang merasa aneh melihatku memakai sepatu kets di balik rok panjang hitamku, mereka berkomentar, (ke guru lain, tidak langsung ke padaku), "Mengapa Ms. Nana suka memakai sepatu anaknya?" hahahaha … Komentar siswa atas sepatu bootsku? "Ms. Nana funky yah?" LOL.
Oh well … what’s so special in choosing what shoes to wear?
Aku cuma pengen nulis sesuatu untuk blogku tercinta ini. LOL.
Anyway, semua orang punya hak penuh untuk memilih, dan kemudian bertanggung jawab atas pilihan itu.
Kyra, yang memilih untuk menikah, memiliki anak, sehingga tidak mungkin baginya untuk membeli sepatu mahal. (karena pendapatannya tidak memungkinkannya untuk melakukannya.)
Carrie yang memilih untuk single, dan membelanjakan uangnya untuk membeli apa aja yang dia inginkan, termasuk sepatu mahal.
Aku yang memilih memakai high-heeled shoes/boots karena aku merasa nyaman dan pede melakukannya. :)
Rekan-rekan kerjaku yang memilih memakai sepatu tidak berhak tinggi, karena merasa tidak bisa berjalan kalau memakai sepatu hak tinggi. LOL.
KPDE 13.05 011206

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Nov 23 2006

Di Yogya

Published by afemaleguest under daily

Mumpung di Yogya … :) aku kepengen menulis di sini.

Tadi pagi aku ninggalin rumah sekitar jam 05.20, 20 menit lebih lambat dari rencana semula. (Abang kirim sms, nanya apakah aku udah siap berangkat, aku diemin aja, ga kubalas, nunggu kalau aku udah sampai di MILO, tempat ‘nongkrong’ bus-bus ke luar kota, baru aku mau kirim sms ke dia.) Aku minta Angie mengantar ke jalan raya. Untungnya sesampai jalan raya dan menyeberang jalan, ada bus DAMRI yang ke arah Penggaron, so aku langsung naik, ga pakai nunggu lama.

Perjalanan dari kawasan Pusponjolo ke Milo (alias Jalan Dr. Cipto) lancar karena jalanan masih sepi. Sesampai di Jl. Dr. Cipto, gosh … aku baru sadar, betapa aku pun kangen mendengarkan si tukang teriak-teriak, "Yogya … Yogya …!" LOL. Aku menunggu kurang lebih 10 menit sampai bus NUSANTARA datang.

Setelah naik ke dalam bus, aku mengetik sms buat Abang, eh, sms dia udah duluan nyelonong masuk, nanya aku jadi ke Yogya nggak, ataukah aku masih molor. LOL. Dasar ga sabaran. Wakakakaka …

Perjalanan Semarang - Yogya lumayan lancar, dan bus sepi, tidak lebih dari 10 penumpang yang ada di dalamnya. Aku mendengarkan musik, hasil ripping dari CD A2 Mix Selection kiriman Abang di Media Player yang dia kirim. Yah … serasa dia duduk di sampingku deh menemani dari Semarang ke Yogya. Cie … Tak lupa juga aku sempet molor di bus. Wakakakaka … maklum, penidur. LOL.

Sampai di Jombor, banyak tukang ojek dan sopir taxi mengerubuti nanya aku mau pergi kemana. Lah, I am very familiar with this city, ga butuh tukang ojek atawa taxi karena tentu saja lebih murah naik bus kota. LOL. Apalagi masih di pagi hari  begitu. Kalau sudah lewat Maghrib, nah, itu lain cerita.

Aku menunggu bus jalur 5 sekitar 10 menit. Dalam perjalanan menuju UGM, waktu lewat ring road, jadi ingat, dulu dua kali aku sampai di Jombor lewat Maghrib, ga ada bus kota lagi, dan aku dengan ‘jongjon’ (bahasa si Abang nih, LOL) berjalan kaki menuju kos, kurang lebih 30 menit lah. That was a good exercise, wasn’t it? LOL.

Sampai di Gedung Lengkung Sekolah Pasca Sarjana, aku ke restroom for a while, nature calls, setelah kirim sms ke Abang, telling him that I already arrived at UGM.

Urusan selesai in less than 5 minutes. :)

Keluar dari Gedung Lengkung, aku sempet duduk-duduk dulu di salah satu bangku panjang yang tersedia, kirim sms ke beberapa teman, telling them that I was at UGM. Mereka jadi ikut kepengen ke Yogya juga, and ngajakin gimana kalau kapan-kapan kita bereuni di Yogya. Yeah … why not? Sok akhir Desember-awal Januari ada pameran buku akbar, kalau aku sempet sih, dan ada dana untuk beli buku tentu saja. :) (Dasar bookworm. LOL.)

Dari Gedung Lengkung, aku berjalan sepanjang Selokan Mataram, mampir ke toko khusus berjualan barang-barang semacam CD, disket, flash disk, dll. Aku beli kabel perpanjangan USB yang langsung berujung 4, yang di rumah cuma satu, so untuk recharge Media Player, aku dan Angie harus ngantri. Kalau punya yang langsung 4 begini kan, dua Media Player bisa dicharge bareng-bareng, plus aku juga bisa buka flash disk.

Trus, aku mampir ke warnet, bukan Hasilnet tempatku mangkal dulu, tapi ke warnet yang dulu disebut Lorkalinet. Heran, mengapa namanya ganti-ganti melulu ya? Dukunnya bilang begitu kali ya??? huehehehe … Hasilnet fully booked tadi. Kenapa juga aku mampir ke warnet? To give surprise to Abang. LOL. Padahal yah … mana dia ngerasa juga beda aku online di Semarang ataupun di Yogya. We are still million miles away from each other. LOL.

Sementara aku ngetik di sini, Abangku ngapain yah??? LOL.

Setelah ini aku akan ke toko buku Social Agency di jalan Gejayan, mau beli buku-buku. Angieku tersayang udah pesen tuh. Wah … :)

Let’s go back to where my dearest Abang is waiting for me. LOL.

YK (Lorkalinet) 12.09 241106

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Nov 22 2006

Thanksgiving

Published by afemaleguest under Current Affairs

THANKSGIVING …
It reminds me of some special moments I (had to) attend when I was at American Studies Graduate Program of Gadjah Mada University. After graduating, hmm … I miss to attend such an occasion.
The following article is taken from yahoo search engine. For myself, to ‘re-enact’ the moment I used to attend with my classmates and the lecturers.

LONG BEACH, Calif. - Teacher Bill Morgan walks into his third-grade class
wearing a black Pilgrim hat made of construction paper and begins snatching up
pencils, backpacks and glue sticks from his pupils. He tells them the items now
belong to him because he "discovered" them. The reaction is exactly what Morgan
expects: The kids get angry and want their things back

Morgan is among elementary school teachers who have ditched the traditional
Thanksgiving lesson, in which children dress up like Indians and Pilgrims and
act out a romanticized version of their first meetings.

He has replaced it with a more realistic look at the complex relationship
between Indians and white settlers.

Morgan said he still wants his pupils at Cleveland Elementary School in San
Francisco to celebrate Thanksgiving. But "what I am trying to portray is a
different point of view."

Others see Morgan and teachers like him as too extreme.

"I think that is very sad," said Janice Shaw Crouse, a former college dean
and public high school teacher and now a spokeswoman for Concerned Women for
America, a conservative organization. "He is teaching his students to hate their
country. That is a very distorted view of history, a distorted view of
Thanksgiving."

Even American Indians are divided on how to approach a holiday that some
believe symbolizes the start of a hostile takeover of their lands.

Chuck Narcho, a member of the Maricopa and Tohono O’odham tribes who works as
a substitute teacher in Los Angeles, said younger children should not be
burdened with all the gory details of American history.

"If you are going to teach, you need to keep it positive," he said. "They can
learn about the truths when they grow up. Caring, sharing and giving — that is
what was originally intended."

Adam McMullin, a member of the Seminole tribe of Oklahoma and a spokesman for
the National Congress of American Indians, said schoolchildren should get an
accurate historical account.

"You can’t just throw an Indian costume on a child," he said. "That stuff is
not taken lightly. That’s where educators need to be very careful."

Becky Wyatt, a teacher at Kettering Elementary School in Long Beach, decided
to alter the costumes for the annual Thanksgiving play a few years ago after
local Indians spoke out against students wearing feathers, which are sacred in
their culture. Now children wear simple headbands.

"We have many mixed cultures in Long Beach, so we try to be sensitive," Wyatt
said. "What you teach little children is important."

Laverne Villalobos, a member of the Omaha tribe in Nebraska who now lives in
the coastal town of Pacifica near San Francisco, considers Thanksgiving a day of
mourning.

She went before the school board last week and asked for a ban on
Thanksgiving re-enactments and students dressing up as Indians. She also
complained about November’s lunch menu that pictured a caricature of an Indian
boy.

The mother of four said the traditional Thanksgiving celebrations in schools
instill "a false sense of what really happened before and after the feast. It
wasn’t all warm and fuzzy."

After she complained, it was decided that pupils at her children’s school
will not wear Indian costumes this year.

James Loewen, a former history professor at the University of Vermont and
author of "Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your High School History Textbook
Got Wrong," said that during the first Thanksgiving, the Wampanoag Indians and
the pilgrims had been living in relative peace, even though the tribe suspected
the settlers of robbing Indian graves to steal food buried with the dead.

"Relations were strained, but yet the holiday worked. Folks got along. After
that, bad things happened," Loewen said, referring to the bloody warfare that
broke out later during the 17th century.

Morgan, a teacher for more than 35 years, said that after conducting his own
research, he changed his approach to teaching about Thanksgiving. He tells
teachers at his school this is a good way to nurture critical thinking, but he
acknowledged not all are receptive: "It’s kind of an uphill struggle."

KPDE 12.50 231106

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Nov 20 2006

Funny Quotes …

Published by afemaleguest under Quote

Here are some funny quotes from Abraham Lincoln. I got them from a friend’s blog at
http://doncasterhaikupoet.blog.co.uk/

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

***
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and
remove all doubt.

***
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any
man I ever met. (referring to a lawyer)

***
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few
virtues.

***
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people
some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

***
When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting
bees.

KPDE 13.48 21112006

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Nov 16 2006

Why …

Published by afemaleguest under Gender

People around me probably condemn me as a heartless woman, especially to a man that happens to be the father of my daughter. Probably they also accuse me as a selfish mother who wants to separate my daughter from her father, a woman who denies the ‘destiny’ to be created with inherent feminine characters: unselfish, loving, caring, loyal, submissive, obedient, etc.

However, have they ever thought that a woman deserves to be happy? The happiness that doesnt follow the norm, especially in Indonesian culture: to be happy, a woman must get married, be a good wife that will always support the husband in anything he does. Dont you agree that a woman can define her own happiness? If I am happier to live separately from daughter’s father, what is wrong with that? Is it enough then to make people judge me as heartless, selfish, unwomanly? If that is so, why the hell they fussily interfere my life? I dont do any harm to them.

The main different thing between me and some other woman that probably become unloving to their children is I do love my daughter, have an intimate relationship with her, enjoy time I spend with her without forgetting that each of us needs some time to be alone. She is my everything so that I give her a loving nick, MY LOVELY STAR. Yet, it doesnt mean that my love for her is a good reason for people to insist that I sacrifice my own happiness. I can still love her, while thinking of things and do those things that will make me enjoy this life. I already forget how I raised her when she was a little to maintain this intimate relationship between us. When many women friends of mine love to have sons, I adore to have a daughter. (I want to negate Freud’s penis envy theory that daughters adore the father more than the mother.)

Still, I always want to understand when other women are not loving to their children because I believe they have strong reasons to do that; why they adore their husbands who probably are just assholes, why they choose to continue living in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children or just to give camouflage to people around that they are happily married (because they support the norm saying that to be happy a woman must get married.)

Why dont we just support one another to live our respective lives and stop condemning what other people do?

PT56 08.45 171106

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Nov 16 2006

Chapter Two …

Published by afemaleguest under Science

The following is the second chapter of my thesis that has a title : A REFLECTION OF PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY AMERICA: A CASE STUDY OF CHARLOTTE PERKINS GILMAN’S “THE YELLOW WALLPAPER”. I just want to illustrate about Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s background in a nutshell. If you are really interested in knowing more, you can do the research more thoroughly yourself.

                                                 CHAPTER II

THE BIOGRAPHY AND INTELLECTUAL BACKGROUND OF

CHARLOTTE PERKINS GILMAN

2.1 The Biography of Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Charlotte Perkins Gilman was born in

Hartford

 

Connecticut

. She was the youngest child and only daughter of the marriage of Mary Ann Fitch Wescott (1829-1893) and Frederick Beecher Perkins (1828-1899). They got married in 1857, had three children in three years:  the first child, Thomas, died within one month; another son, named Thomas too, 1859-1938; and Gilman was born on

July 3, 1860

. Gilman’s mother conceived another girl, who lived only eight months in 1866.

Frederick

deserted the family in 1869, but visited them occasionally. They got divorced in 1873. (Ceplair, ed. 1991:9).

The wrecked marriage of her parents made Gilman and her brother and mother move nineteen times in eighteen years, from one relative’s house to another, from one city to another. Her mother’s financial dependency forced them to do that. Her mother didn’t have any skills that enabled her to support her children. Besides, as a woman coming from middle-class society, Mary believed that she was not supposed to work. It made Gilman think since she was very young that if a woman were dependent on a man (her husband), she would live in suffering when her husband deserted her. It evoked

Charlotte

’s strict character that a woman needed to be economically independent. It could be seen in her later years through her writings and lectures.

Gilman remembered her father as a frustrated man. He left his wife after knowing that his wife would not be able to have another baby. He attended

Yale

 

College

but never graduated, and studied law but never practiced. He was a genteel reformer, believing in the restoration of the pre-industrial family. He believed women should have interests outside the home before they married but when married should “find perfect gratification in their own homes, in their families.” He spent the rest of his life as an editor, librarian, and a writer, but did not earn a sufficient income to support his family. (Ceplair, 1991:10)

Gilman described her mother as the most domestic type of a housewife. After her idolized youth, she was left neglected. After her flood of lovers, she became a deserted wife. Since she was not financially independent, she had to live under her relatives’ pity. Gilman, her brother Thomas, and the mother lived with Gilman’s grandparents from

Frederick

, with her grandparents from Mary, with

Frederick

’s aunts, and other relatives again.

In such a situation, Mary surely could not express tenderness toward her children, Thomas and Gilman. Gilman remembered her mother as someone who denied the children all expression of affection as far as possible, so that the children should not be used to it or long for it. (Ceplair, ed. 1991:11).

In that kind of unhappy childhood Gilman grew up. A bad image of

Frederick

as her father gave her a bad image of a man to be a husband. Therefore in her teenaged years, Gilman didn’t have any idea to be close to men. In fact, when she was 19 years old, she experienced her first intense emotional connection with a female friend, Martha Luther. Gilman illustrated her relationship with Martha as “a compact of mutual understanding” and her “first deep personal happiness”. Therefore, Martha’s engagement with

Charles A. Lane

in 1882 made Gilman broken-hearted. To reflect the beautiful moments she spent together with Martha, Gilman wrote in her autobiography,

With Martha I knew perfect happiness. … Four years of satisfying happiness with Martha, then she married and moved away. … And I had no one else.” (via Ceplair, 1991: 14) 

Apparently Gilman was disappointed by her expectation to live together with Martha. She was also traumatic because of the failure of her parents’ marriage. These two things made her decide not to get involved with a love relationship. She buried her pain in work.

However, not long after that, Gilman met Charles Walter Stetson, her first husband. Charles—a talented artist—who fell in love with her asked her to marry him. Gilman’s bitter past made her decline Charles’ proposal though she felt a strong physical attraction to him. The question of marriage threatened the divide she had established between work and love. She wrote in her autobiography:

On the one hand I knew it was normal and right in general, and held that a woman should be able to have marriage and motherhood, and do her work in the world also. On the other, I felt strongly that for me it was not right, that the nature of the life before me forbade it, that I ought to forego the more intimate personal happiness for complete devotion to my work. (via Ceplair, 1991:15)

Though doubtful about marriage life, Gilman married Charles on

May 2, 1884

, two years after they met. Gilman’s doubt turned out to be right because not long after delivering her daughter, Katharine, in April 1885, Gilman underwent nervous exhaustion. Her husband’s conventional opinion about a wife’s role made her condition worse. Though in the beginning of their relationship Charles seemed to admire her independence and nonconformity of spirit, Gilman’s worldly ambition hurt his ego as a man. He wrote in his diary:

She had one of those spasms of wanting to make a name for herself in the world by doing good work: wanting to have people know her as Charlotte Perkins, not as the wife of me. … It may be … from ill-digested reading of philosophical works mixed with her imagination and the tradition of what she ought to inherit from her parents. (via Ceplair, 1991:16)

Her nervous breakdown made Gilman go to

Philadelphia

to be treated by Dr. S. Weir Mitchell, the greatest nerve specialist at that time. Apparently Gilman was suffering from post-natal depression. In the nineteenth century, motherhood was believed to be one cause that led women to mental breakdown. In that era, women’s madness was labeled hysteria (Goodman, 1996:117). Identifying Gilman’s disease as hysteria, Mitchell prescribed “rest cure” while she was in

Philadelphia

, and a life of enforced passivity when she returned home. Gilman wrote in her autobiography that Mitchell advised her to

Live as domestic life as possible. Have your child with you all the time. Lie down an hour after each meal. Have but two hours’ intellectual life a day. And never touch pen, brush or pencil as long as you live. (via Ceplair, 1991:20)

Hysteria was considered a “fashionable” disease for women in the nineteenth century

America

(Golden, 1999:110). Women who were judged to suffer from hysteria were women who were  “unfeminine—in other words, sexually aggressive, intellectually ambitious, and defective in proper womanly submission and selflessness.” (Golden, 1992:111). In Gilman’s case, she was detected to undergo that disease because of her intellectual ambition, especially, and later also her defectiveness in her role as a wife and mother.

To live passively was absolutely a problematic situation for a woman who was as intelligent, imaginative, and ambitious as Gilman. Therefore, Gilman thought that Mitchell’s prescribed cure and advice just led her to the edge of insanity. After three months, she found out that the cure didn’t work well on her, it even made her nervous breakdown worse, Gilman decided to get back to her “normal” life—working. She was cured by removing herself physically from her home, husband, and finally her child, and by engaging in and writing about the social movements of the day. http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/ejournal/ old-WILLA/fall95/De Simone.html 

She resumed writing and lecturing to all over

America

. “The Yellow Wallpaper” was the result of her experience under Mitchell’s medication. She wrote that short story, especially, to criticize Mitchell’s rest cure that in fact didn’t really cure people suffering from nervous breakdown. Such a cure even proved to be on the way around, to lead people to insanity. “It was not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy, and it worked”, Gilman wrote in “Why I Wrote The Yellow Wallpaper”  (via Bauer, 1998:349).

Realizing that her marriage life spurred her to suffer from nervous breakdown, Gilman, with Charles’s knowing, filed divorce in 1892 and it was granted in April 1894. In June that same year, Charles married Grace Ellery Channing, and Gilman sent her daughter, Katharine, to live together with them.

In June 1900,

Charlotte

married her cousin, George Houghton Gilman in

Detroit

. Katharine came to live with them at the end of July. Different from Charles whose ideals about women’s roles in a marriage were conventional, George was supportive of her intense involvement in social reform. http://www.gale.com/free_resources/whm/bio/ gilman_c.htm This second marriage lasted until George died in May 1934. Before that, in 1932, doctors found an inoperable cancer growing in her breast. She had always believed that human beings should not have to suffer from chronic pain, torment, and misery. Therefore, she committed suicide on

August 17, 1935

. In her suicide note, she wrote,

Human life consists in mutual service. No grief, pain, misfortune or “broken heart” is excuse for cutting off one’s life while any power of service remains.

But when all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one. (via Ceplair, 1991:275)

Several days before her suicide, Charlotte Perkins Gilman—a “Deist with no concern for an afterlife” (http://oasis.harvard.edu/html/ sch00019.html)—wrote that people not only had right to live, they had right to die as well.

2.2 Intellectual Background of Charlotte Perkins Gilman

L.A. Lowe said that Charlotte Perkins Gilman was sociology’s first radical feminist theorist whose critical social theory and thematic methodology continue to reverberate in the musings and writings of today’s critical social and feminist theorists. http://employment. education.uiowa.edu/lalowe/034_201_ePortfolio/ GILMAN_PAPER.htm Despite her nervous breakdown that she suffered during her lifetime, Gilman was a prolific writer. She wrote a lot of articles, short stories, poems, books, plays, and novels with various topics. For her, writing is more than a form of work, it is also a means of expressing identity. (Goodman, 2001:110) Besides writing, she also lectured throughout the

United States

and

Europe

. She believed that in communicating, both in writing and lecturing, people must do that with a real purpose in their mind. (Bauer, 1998:351).  In her case, especially, her purpose in writing and lecturing was to educate women and give them the means to change their role in a male-dominated society; she stressed equality both socially and economically.

Her writings were spread in many kinds of magazines, newspapers, and journals. Her highest success in her writing career was acknowledged when she published her own journal, the Forerunner from 1909 until 1916. In this monthly journal, she wrote and edited all the articles there herself, which she claimed could fill 28 long books. The Forerunner was regarded as Gilman’s “vehicle for advancing social awareness.” http://www.gale.com/free_resources/whm/bio/gilman_c. htm In fact, the central theme of this journal was that social and human development were hampered by sexual dysfunctions that could only be removed when women were perceived and treated as human beings and human beings were recognized as integral parts of the social organism. (Ceplair, 1991:189)

Among her hundreds short stories published in various magazines, “The Yellow Wallpaper” is the most anthologized one nowadays. In this novella, she wrote her own experience when she suffered from postpartum depression. She criticized the male doctor who prescribed the sick narrator rest cure that apparently by the end of the story led the narrator to the edge of insanity. In another short story entitled “Dr. Clair’s Place”, Gilman expressed her idea about the similar situation in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, only in “Dr. Clair’s Place” it had a female doctor who believed that people who suffered from nervous breakdown would recover soon by making them busy, doing things they liked, such as listening to music, working, etc. This is to attack the male doctor’s bed-rest medication for people who suffer from nervous breakdown.

Forty-three of Gilman’s 186 short stories have been compiled in at least two major collections, "The Yellow Wall-Paper" and Other Stories, edited by Robert Shulman and The Charlotte Perkins Gilman Reader, edited by

Ann J. Lane

. These short stories originally appeared in such varied popular magazines as Saturday Evening Post and Harpers’ Bazaar. http://www.womenwriters.net/domesticgoddess/CPGguide. html.

Besides short stories, Gilman wrote approximately 490 poems, some of which were collected in In This Our World in 1893 and in Suffrage Songs and Verses in 1911. http://www.womenwriters.net/ domesticgoddess/CPG guide.html.

Some novels Gilman wrote had utopian theme, such as Moving the Mountain (1911), Herland (1915), and With Her in Ourland (1916). In those three utopian novels, Gilman described societies in which attitudes toward women and their abilities have radically changed. Critics said that in Herland, Gilman used satire very well. The novel challenged accepted images of women by describing the reactions of three American males who entered Herland, an all-female society that reproduced through parthenogenesis, reproduction by the development of an unfertilized ovum, as in certain insects and algae. All inhabitants in Herland were described capable in doing anything, not dependent on men at all. http://www.gale.com/free_resources/ whm/bio/gilman_c.htm

Besides writing short stories, poems, and novels, Gilman also wrote a thousand works of non-fiction. These appeared in such magazines as Woman’s Journal, Housekeeper’s Weekly, Impress, Cosmopolitan, New Nation, The New York Times, and The Saturday Evening Post, to name only a fraction, and their topics reflect

Charlotte

’s interest in everything from chewing gum in public to socialism. Some of her non-fiction work has been collected in Charlotte Perkins Gilman: A Non-Fiction Reader (1991) and Her Progress Towards Utopia: With Selected Writings (1994). http://www.Womenwriters.net/domesticgoddess/CPGguide.html. Since her main concern was to make a change in women’s lives, many of her articles urged women to break out of the restrictions society enforces upon them in order to advance social evolution as a mechanism for change. She demanded that women work in "crafts, trades, arts and sciences," fields from which they had historically been barred, and not in the home, their traditional "separate sphere." Indeed, the home is resoundingly absent from her list of occupations, for it, too, needs restructuring in evolutionary advancement.

In “Parasitism and Civilized Vice” Gilman employs her anti-Freudian diatribe against sex-expression and all forms of egocentric excess in the cause of advancing her social philosophy of race development. This essay—published in a collection of other socialist pieces entitled Woman’s Coming of Age (1931)—details Gilman’s argument against women’s growing dependence on men in capitalist America. Gilman argued that like harem women, who were fed and protected for sex service, American women were becoming “sex parasites”. Sex has become a process of economic exchange instead of race betterment, leading to greater temptation for men (Bauer, 1998:25). In another article entitled “Think Husbands Aren’t Mainstays” appearing in New York Times in 1909, Gilman declared that wives were “unpaid servants, merely a comfort and a luxury agreeable to have if a man can afford it” (Bauer, 1998:23).

Gilman also wrote some non-fiction books. In Women and Economics (1898)—her most well-known book which has been translated into several language since its first publication—Gilman argued that the home, considered as both a social and an economic entity, represented the single greatest obstacle to a realization of humanity’s collective interests, since it fosters an elaborate devotion to individuals and their personal needs. Following John Stuart Mill’s and Harriet Taylor’s line in The Subjection of Women (1869) and Friedrich Engels’s analogy between slavery and marriage in The Origin of the Family, Gilman drew the comparison between marriage and prostitution. In an era when purity campaigns and female reform societies were at the height of their influence, Gilman characterized prostitution as, at least in one sense, a lesser evil than marriage. In both cases, “the female gets her food from the male by virtue of her sex-relationship”, but in marriage the “evil” is compounded by a “perfect acceptance of the situation”. (Bauer, 1998:23)

In The Home: Its Work and Influence (1903), Gilman argued that the exclusion which characterized the domestic sphere had rendered women inferior. The Home began with the premise that “whosoever, man or woman, lived always in a small dark place, was always guarded, protected, directed, and restrained, will become inevitably narrowed and weakened by it”. Gilman argued that it was not that the values of the home need to reach into industry but that principles of industry need to be applied to the home, thereby professionalizing women’s work. Adamantly rejecting the claims certain of her contemporaries known as “female feminists” made for the innately different but superior contributions represented by women’s influence in the home, Gilman concluded that exclusion was always and only oppressive (Bauer, 1998:23-24).

In The Man-Made World or, Our Androcentric Culture (1911), Gilman criticized “androcentric culture”, cataloging the ills that have accumulated as a result of what she sees as an unhealthy move from earlier matriarchal communities to patriarchal society. First, beauty and health have been retarded and both men and women have become weak, inefficient, and ill, not to mention victims of fashion. What is considered beautiful in women is only sex ornament. Second, the sexual double standard has weakened the race by resulting in the transmission of sexual diseases. Third, women’s “civilized art sense” has been aborted since they have not learned “applied art”—in creativity—but only fashion and fad; finally literature “has not only given any true picture of woman’s life, very little of human life, and a disproportioned section of man’s life” (Bauer, 1998:24)

In Concerning Children (1900) Gilman advocated professional child-care. She delivered her most extensive critique of traditional forms of raising children, by discipline and obedience, and called for the creation of process and environment that encouraged them to think. Gilman argued that race improvement must be made between the years fifteen and twenty-five—“the most important decade of a lifetime,” since those were the years when a person could acquire “a keen new consciousness of personal responsibility” and then transmit that characteristic to his or her children. (Ceplair, 1991:91)

Despite the fact that she wrote a lot of articles to educate women about their equal position to men in the patriarchal society, Gilman did not label herself as a feminist, not because she lacked sympathy for feminism but because she found ‘its objectives too limited for her own more radical views on the need for social change’ (Goodman, 2001:140). In her era, the sole goal of women’s movement was to get right to vote in general election to show that they were equal to men. For Gilman, to be politically equal was not as important as economically independent. Work was the most important aspect for women to be equal. When a woman was economically independent, she could do anything in her life, to make herself in the same rank as a man. As a writer and an activist, Charlotte Perkins Gilman offered a great many ideas to the public of her time. She allowed women to dream of a life of equality, and men of a world where women helped out in the workforce. Through her writing and speaking engagements she helped push women’s roles in society further than they had ever been. A visionary of her time, she showed people that a world where women were prevalent in the working class was possible with some effort. Through thoughts of economic, political and social independence, she put a picture to equality. http:// bizntech.rutgers.edu/worknlit/gilman2_bib.html

Furthermore, in her Afterword of “The Yellow Wallpaper” Feminist Press Edition (1973), Elaine Hedges stated that Gilman’s basic tenet in her writings and lectures was that work must be respected. Women must be admitted into the human work world on equal terms with men. The domestic work they do must be respected, and they must be free to do other kinds of work as well. Gilman believed in continuing human progress (she wrote a utopian novel, Moving the Mountain, in which women had achieved true equality with men), and she saw the situation of women in the nineteenth century as thwarting this progress as well as thwarting their own development. For some human beings to be classified as horses, or cows, or sexual objects, was to impoverish not only themselves but human society as a whole. (via Golden, 1992:134)

In her lecturing career, Gilman gave lectures to middle— to upper-middle class women’s clubs, labor unions, women’s suffrage groups, church congregations, and Nationalist clubs http://employment.education.uiowa.edu/lalowe/034_201_e Portfolio/ GILMAN_PAPER.htm She spent the rest of 1890s traveling and lecturing: attending a suffrage convention in Washington in 1896; going to England in July 1896 to the Internationalist Socialist and Labor Congress; and again to the International Women’s Congress in London in 1899. She attended the International Congress of Women in

Berlin

in 1904 and the International Woman Suffrage Congress in

Budapest

in 1913, and made a lecture tour of

England

,

Holland

,

Germany

,

Australia

, and

Hungary

in 1905. http://oasis.harvard.edu/html/ sch00019.html Gilman did all those travels and lectures to express her idea in order to evoke about gender (in)equality and encourage women to struggle for a better and equal life in patriarchal society.

I assume that before we condemn someone to do things you consider heartless—especially in this case a woman who seems not to follow feminine roles CONSTRUCTED BY MEN IN PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY: a loving mother, a loyal and submissive wife, a caring friend, a feminine creature, make sure that you find out the background of her to be like that. If you dont want to bother yourself to do such a ‘research’, just shut your mouth up.

PT56 08.14 171106

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Nov 16 2006

Recently

Published by afemaleguest under daily

I must say that recently I seldom have time to go online. Consequently, I dont really have much time to browse my friends’ blogs, especially at blog.co.uk. I still post some articles there, still enjoy some readers’ comments and reply them, including enjoy my own amazement to see the statistics of the visitors of my blog despite the fact that I am not as prolific as I used to be some months ago. If I am diligent to post daily, it is just understandable if many bloggers visit my blog. If not? Oh well … J

I pay attention that recently more and more visitors to my blogs are those of my friends’ friends in their friends’ list. When some of them invite me to join their list, I feel very glad. I believe it must be because the feminist perspective I use when analyzing cases, just as the name of my blog ‘A Feminist Blog’.

Some weeks ago, I got a personal message from a new friend in my list named Alice, she told me to join the ‘crowd’ of debating about whether feminists are just people who dont have anything to do in their free time; to attract people’s attenton, then they try to ‘provide’ things that are useless to provide, just criticize to things that have been established for many centuries, etc. Unfortunately, I didnt have much time to join Alice and some others to support the idea that feminism exist to make the betterment in women’s lives, to create more equal chances for women to make choices in their life.

Some days ago I downloaded an article from a blogger (male) illustrating that good men are now worthless, that women just socialize with bad men, therefore they get bad treatment and then shout to the world that all men are just b*stard.  And yesterday I read an article from a female blogger that condemned a mother who just abused the daughter to get attention from the world. Gosh …

It made me remember my research when writing my thesis: why Charlotte Perkins Gilman became cold toward her only very own daughter; why in that era (the end of the nineteenth century), she wanted to make a name for herself—as Charlotte Perkins—not as a Mrs. Charles Walter Stetson (her first husband); she felt so enthusiastic to travel around America and also some countries in Europe to share her idea that women are to be economically independent so that they will live a better life, etc.

It made me remember my own life experience after my study in American Studies Graduate Program: why I become a feminist—even some good friends of mine here ‘crown’ me as a radical one because I really changed radically from my old self; why I become a secular after I was born and raised in a very strict Muslim family; why I prefer living alone with my own daughter to continue living in the marriage with her daddy; why I am still a romantic creature although I have become a feminist (a good friend laughed at me that there is no feminist who is a romantic,  no (female) feminist who loves a man deeply). The answers of those questions are only one: my own experience since I was a kid, born and raised in a strict Muslim family that are also religous snobs, live in Indonesia where the majority is Muslim, married a man that eventually became a parasite in my life, my questioning and rebellious characters that are inherent in me, my study in American Studies Graduate Program, my getting to know feminism ideology by reading books, articles in scientific journals, newspapers, etc. And not to mention living in by the end twentieth and the beginning of twenty first centuries. All of them comprise into one complicatedly so that I become like this.

I am a kind of person that believes our background shapes us; it is our own choice to be good or bad person for those of us who have high self awareness—not to give in bad influence easily to harm other people, to choose to follow good deed. Each of us has tendency to be good or bad people: mature and responsible people will be of benefit to other people around them; on the contrary immature and irresponsible ones will follow the bad ‘whisper’ in their heart to abuse other people for their own privileges. When someone cannot decide what is good or bad for him/herself, he/she had better consult a psychiatrist without forgetting that the psychiatrist must be not mysoginist or anti male.

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Nov 15 2006

The Article

Published by afemaleguest under Science

“THE YELLOW WALLPAPER” – A MIRROR OF UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS WOMEN’S CONDITION IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY

AMERICA

Abstract

This study is intended to examine Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s rebellious minds against social and patriarchal authorities as reflected in her novella entitled “The Yellow Wallpaper”. This study is conducted under a library research and concentrates on reference source related to the topic discussed. It is based on an interpretation of Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s rebellious minds, as a radical feminist among her contemporary nineteenth century social thinkers.

Tremaine McDowell’s American Studies theory is used here; that is the reconciliation of tenses (past, present, future), and the reconciliation of academic disciplines that are sociohistorical approach, cultural approach, historical contexts of the writer, and literary approaches—feminist literary criticism and genetic structuralism.

The result of the study finds out that male dominated society that tends to oppress women’s lives under its norm called the Cult of True Womanhood caused another cult—the Cult of Female Invalidism. These two kinds of cult engendered woman’s madness phenomenon.

Keywords: the Cult of True Womanhood, women’s oppression, woman’s madness

INTRODUCTION

That patriarchal culture has existed for ages and always given privileges toward men is already well-known. Many articles have discussed this topic too. However, that this patriarchal culture then also decides who is sane who is insane has not been popularly discussed yet. In her book, Women and Madness (1972), Phyllis Chesler, proposes an idea that because the mental health system is patriarchal, women are often falsely labeled as being ‘mad’ if they do not conform to stereotypical feminine roles.

Having the dominant position in society, men decide the feminine roles women are supposed to have. In the nineteenth century

America

, society created an ideological prison for women that were called the Cult of True Womanhood. To strengthen this norm, many books, magazines, or journal that are popularly known as Conduct Literature were abundantly published. When women did not conform to the norms of this Cult of True Womanhood, they would be easily deemed mad.

The objective of this study is to find out that this norm created by patriarchal society oppresses women’s lives. To some extent, it increased the number of women who were labeled mad because they chose to deviate the norm. As mental evidence, the novella entitled “The Yellow Wallpaper” written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is chosen.

This study is carried out under the American Studies theory proposed by Tremaine McDowell—the reconciliation of tenses (past, present, and future), and the reconciliation of academic disciplines that is interdisciplinary approach (82). This interdisciplinary approach comprises sociohistorical approach, cultural approach, historical contexts of the writer and literary approaches, namely genetic structuralism and feminist literary criticism.

The method applied in this study is library research. It means, it concentrates on reference source related to the topic discussed. Besides the novella itself, Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s other books are utilized. Some other books and online references closely linked to the study are of big help to conduct the research.

ANALYSIS

“The Yellow Wallpaper” is a short story telling about a young woman who is eventually driven mad by the society. The narrator is apparently confused with the norm defining “true” and “good” woman constructed by society dominated by man.

Upper and middle-class women in that era mostly had a role as their husband’s ornament, the angel of the house. With the emergence of middle-class society due to the Industrial Revolution, many new rich men wanted to show off their valuable “treasure”; a wife that is passive, obedient, beautiful, submissive, pious, and pure. This beautiful-to-be-looked role of a wife is similar to that of wallpaper.

Gilman herself as the writer said in “Why I wrote The Yellow Wallpaper?” that “The Yellow Wallpaper” was written to attack the wrong rest cure proposed by Dr. S. W. Mitchell for women who were considered to suffer from mental illness. At the same time, the story also turns out to be one way of Gilman to criticize her male-dominated society’s way to oppress women during her era. Imposing “true” and “good” woman norm to all women obviously engendered women’s madness phenomenon in that era.

The Cult of True Womanhood

The Cult of True Womanhood consists of four attributes; namely piety, purity, submissiveness, and domesticity. (http://www.pinzler.com/ushistory/ cultwo.html). In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, two attributes—submissiveness and domesticity—were clearly seen.

In the beginning of the story, the narrator was taken to a solitary mansion to undergo treatment. The narrator’s husband named John who happened to be a high standing physician diagnosed her to suffer from temporary nervous depression. To cure that kind of depression, a woman had to undergo an isolated rest cure.

In that isolated place, the narrator was not allowed to go anywhere, but stayed in her yellow-wallpapered room. She was somewhat imprisoned there. She had to be domesticated while her husband could go out of the house to do his job to his heart’s content, even sometimes he was away for days. It showed dichotomy of public sphere and domestic sphere for men and women. He enjoyed mobility where he could gain his identity to enhance his position in society, while at the same time he showed his authority toward his wife, the mentally disturbed wife. As someone who had the most professional profession in that era—physician—the husband showed that whatever he said is right, his prescription to cure his wife—to isolate her in a solitary place—was the best for her. This was undebatable.

To convince the narrator, the husband said they went to that isolated place only on her account so that she could get perfect rest. The loving nicks her husband used in calling her—my dear, darling, blessed little goose—gave the narrator feeling that her husband loved and cared for her much. The imposing of the true womanhood norm on upper and middle-class women, the loving feeling her husband tried to evoke in her using loving nicks and the condition that the narrator was suffering from temporary depression made her not able to debate her husband.

Referring to the third characteristic of the Cult of True Womanhood—submissiveness—where true feminine genius was supposed to be timid, doubtful, clingingly dependent, and a perpetual childhood, the narrator was treated as a child. She was ‘imprisoned’ in a room where the windows were barred for about three months. It showed that she was legally a child; socially and economically she must be led by an adult—her husband. Therefore, the nursery was an appropriate place to house her.

In a patriarchal society, relationship between a husband and a wife was similar to a relationship between a parent and a child. A parent had a right to say things and a child had an obligation to listen and to do what the parent said. A child was not supposed to disagree. The child must submit him or herself to the parent. It made the child dependent on the parent.

It can be seen clearly that the husband treated his wife as a child. He called her his “blessed little goose” (Bauer, 1998:44), and “little girl” (Bauer, 1998:50). When the narrator tried to tell him what she thought was good for her, but not appropriate to the husband’s opinion, the husband used sweet words to force his idea toward the wife.

“My darling,” said he, “I beg of you, for my sake and for our child’s sake, as well as for your own, that you will never for one instant let that idea enter your mind! … Can you not trust me as a physician when I tell you so?” (Bauer, 1998:51)

As socially dependent on her husband, the narrator let her husband take care of things for her, for example, to choose to stay in such a solitary place where she did not need to socialize with neighbors because John thought that the narrator needed a full rest and she did not need to get along with people. Since the narrator suffered from a mental disturbance, John, asked his sister, Jennie, to take care of the rented house so that the narrator did not need to do anything. She only needed to take care of herself.

When John thought that the narrator was in a mentally good condition that enabled her to need company, he chose some certain people to come to visit them. That illustration shows how John controlled the narrator’s social life. He decided where they stayed when he thought that his wife needed time to cure her mental depression. He decided with whom the narrator got along, who could stay there with them, what she had better do during their three-month stay—only to take care of herself.

As economically dependent on her husband, the narrator did not need to work either. Moreover, in her mentally depressed situation, John forbade her to “work” until she was well again. While she herself thought that congenial work, with excitement and change would do her good. The narrator instinctively felt that only her work could transport her out of the world of childhood. Surely, her craving to write—meaning to work here—endangered her husband’s position as an authority. He would not have control any longer toward the narrator—his wife.

Living in an era where people worshipped the Cult of True Womanhood, Gilman wrote that novella to criticize the situation, the husband was the authoritarian, and the wife was the submissive. It is clearly seen when she illustrated the situation where the husband forbade the narrator to write and the narrator had to do it in secret. By questioning, “What is one to do?” Gilman wanted to expose the weak position of the narrator. She could just follow what her husband said to her, believe in things he thought, and not what she thought. Since she was considered as a child, not mature yet, she did not have any choice but to agree with whatever her husband asked her to do.

Another important thing in the Cult of True Womanhood is novel reading prohibition. The word ‘novel’ in Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary means ‘new and not resembling something formerly known or used’ (2003:849). It is known that novel is a new kind of literary work, compared to poetry. Industrial revolution of the nineteenth century

America

produced middle-class society. Novel was mostly produced by this middle-class society.

Industrial Revolution produced new rich people that then were considered the middle class society. These new rich people absolutely had different taste from old rich people. When old rich people loved reading poetry—an established literary genre at that time, the new rich people could not do the same thing due to the different taste. Poetry was considered too high for them. They could not enjoy reading it because they could not understand it. However, they needed to read something. Novel was the best solution because novel did not use ‘high’ and complicated (connotative) words.

One of novel’s characteristics is being critical toward government and society’s norm.  As Literary World observed in 1850, “The novel is now almost recognized with the newspaper and the pamphlet as a legitimate mode of influencing public opinion” because of its “strong, emotional, political, and cultural agendas for change” (via Herndl, 1993:45) Society (read à men) were worried if reading novel would make women critical about their so-called destined role as a domestic creature. When women became critical, men suspected that those women would question their ‘natural’ characteristics as mentioned in the Cult of True Womanhood. It would endanger their position as the only owner of the public sphere. When women wanted to get involved in public affairs too, they would compete with men. Besides, if both men and women were busy in public sphere, who would worship God? As a pious country with its Puritanism before the nineteenth century, American men put their forebear’s religious values on women’s shoulder. Therefore they created the Cult of True Womanhood norm to confine women.

If novel reading is prohibited, it is understandable, then, if writing is much more condemned. Because the narrator was still undergoing treatment for her mental disturbance, she was not allowed to do anything but rest herself, rest her body as well as rest her mind. The narrator had to write her journal secretly, when nobody was around her. She herself thought that she needed to write. “Personally I believe that congenial work, with excitement and change, would do me good” (Bauer, 1998:42) and “I think sometimes that if I were only well enough to write a little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.” (Bauer, 1998:46) However she was not free to do that. The narrator wrote in her journal what her husband said about her eagerness to write

… with my imaginative power and habit of story making, a nervous weakness like mine is sure to lead all manner of excited fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good sense to check the tendency. (Bauer, 1998:46)

Every time she wrote in her journal, she had to stop herself when her husband arrived, “There comes John, and I must put this away, –he hates to have me write a word.” (Bauer, 1998:44) or when she saw Jennie coming to her. “There comes John’s sister. Such a dear girl as she is, and so careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.” (Bauer, 1998:47) It can be understood then if that kind of life tired her. She really wanted to do one thing she likes—writing, and she perceived that by writing she could express herself well and it even could help her cure herself. However, she could not do that freely, because her rest-cure treatment prohibited her to do that. And as a true woman, she had to obey what her husband said to her.

The narrator’s deteriorating mental breakdown was understandable. She could not be the woman she was because of the standards set by society at that time. Her husband did not appreciate her creativity and thought. She was not entrusted to do anything or make any decision for herself. While the narrator herself was illustrated as a woman who wanted to conform society’s norm; belittling her own ideas and respecting her husband’s.

Social expectations in the decade of the first half of the nineteenth century encouraged a kind of selflessness that could have resulted in a woman’s thinking of herself as nothing, or less than nothing. This is what can be seen in “The Yellow Wallpaper”.

Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s personal background in writing “The Yellow Wallpaper”

“The Yellow Wallpaper” is often considered as Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s semi-autobiographical short story since she mentioned Mitchell’s name in it to acknowledge the autobiographical roots. Besides mentioning that noted neurologist’s name, “John says if I don’t pick up faster he shall send me to Weir Mitchell in the fall.” (Bauer, 1998:47) the story also contains an obvious similarity between the narrator’s problem and Gilman’s. As stated before, this novella tells about a woman who suffers from a postpartum depression. Gilman herself also experienced that in her first marriage with Charles Walter Stetson.

During her childhood,

Charlotte

had a loveless relationship with her mother who never showed her care and love toward her children, Charlotte and her brother Thomas. It happened after her husband left her, because the doctor forbade her to get pregnant again.

Charlotte

wrote in her autobiography about her mother, “After her idolized youth, she was left neglected. After her flood of lovers, she became a deserted wife” (via Golden, 1992:212).

She saw her mother—a woman whom she described as someone who had passionate feeling for being a domestic wife—live in suffering. Her mother’s suffering made her also live unhappily due to lack of parental love. In

Charlotte

’s eyes, her mother became a victim as well as a victimizer. This bitter experience made her doubtful to get married because after getting married, a couple would have sex that would probably result in pregnancy. Having a baby was something unpleasant for

Charlotte

because she was afraid if she could not love her baby well, just like her own experience with her mother. In Concerning Children,

Charlotte

wrote that the act of childbirth evoked the fear of mutilation, motherhood was the ultimate human sacrifice. Once a woman became a mother, she had to sacrifice all her life for the child, for the family, and she could not have her own life (via Golden, 1992:218). Therefore, the emotions

Charlotte

felt when she gave birth were appropriate for a funeral. Instead of welcoming the baby happily, she went into a period of mourning.

Not wanting to do her mother’s mistake that causes three of them (Charlotte, her mother, and her brother) to live in suffering—to get married and to have children—but thinking that a woman was supposed to get married following the nineteenth century’s society’s norm, Charlotte was in a big dilemma when Charles proposed her. She was afraid if marriage and motherhood might incapacitate her for her work in the world. After considering Charles’ repeated proposal for some time,

Charlotte

married him.

Her fears for marriage and motherhood soon made her suffer from postpartum depression after delivering her baby one year after that. She could no longer do her intellectual activity, such as writing and painting due to the breakdown. Wanting to be cured to continue doing her intellectual work,

Charlotte

visited the most noted neurologist at that time, S. Weir Mitchell.

Mitchell was well known for his rest cure treatment when he handled mentally breakdown patients, both men and women. He also prescribed the same treatment toward

Charlotte

. He suggested

Charlotte

to avoid doing her intellectual life. She was supposed to lead a passive life instead because Mitchell believed that her intellectual work was the cause of

Charlotte

’s depression. Mitchell—as other physicians at that time—believed that women’s reproductive organs in their bodies hindered them from doing things intellectually. The capacity of women’s brain was not as good as men’s to get knowledge. (Golden, 1992: 97-100) Therefore, women were not supposed to have intellectual ambition in their life. When a woman forced to have it, she was condemned to suffer from mental illness.

Charlotte

wrote this personal experience in her novella entitled “The Yellow Wallpaper”. The narrator suffered from postpartum depression after delivering a baby. It was clearly seen that she was not ready to be a mother. Only because she was married and consequently had sex with her husband did she become pregnant and then become a mother. Here,

Charlotte

illustrated her idea that childbirth meant the death of the mother.

The novella tells that the narrator was not ready to have motherly and wifely chores. To cure her mental depression, her husband took her to a summer vacation house for rest therapy. As Mitchell, John—the narrator’s husband—also asked her not to involve herself with intellectual activity—writing. To substitute her to do motherly and wifely chores, John invited a woman named Mary to be the nanny of their baby, and his own sister, Jennie, to be the housekeeper.

The narrator was asked to stay home all day long while her husband was free to pursue his career to be high standing physician. The narrator followed her husband’s suggestion and tried to make herself busy in that rented house. She let her husband go away and busy with his own job that sometimes made him away for some nights.

On the contrary, in

Charlotte

’s real life, after marrying Charles, she still continued her career by writing and painting. She still used her maiden name as Charlotte Anna Perkins, and not as Mrs. Charles Walter Stetson. It hurt Charles’s pride. Living in a male-dominated society, a married woman was not supposed to have her own identity. She had to bear her husband’s family name.

In handling her mental disturbance,

Charlotte

realized that Mitchell’s rest cure prescription did not do her any good. In The Home: Its Work and Influence (1903),

Charlotte

proposed her idea that mother’s world symbolized death and martyrdom, while father’s world promised work, achievement, and power (via Ceplair, 1991:124-144). Mitchell’s paternalistic therapy locked her into the mother’s role, and at the same time, it deprived her of the opportunity to pursue her father’s achievements and thus blocked her life. Therefore, she stopped it. She resumed her intellectual life instead. She started writing again, while at the same time also traveling around

America

to give lectures about women’s rights. She was successful to cure herself by working, and not by having a passive life.

In this case,

Charlotte

wrote different thing from her own experience, because, as she wrote in “Why I wrote The Yellow Wallpaper?” she wanted to criticize Mitchell’s rest cure prescription and also to attack the Cult of True Womanhood.

To show Mitchell that he gave a wrong prescription for women who suffered from hysteria,

Charlotte

finished her story by leading the narrator to insanity. The message was clear, mentally ill women needed to work to cure themselves, and not on the way around. In “Why I Wrote The Yellow Wallpaper?”

Charlotte

wrote that she

sent a copy to the physician who so nearly drove me mad.

But the best result is this. Many years later I was told that the great specialist had admitted to friends of his that he had altered his treatment of neurasthenia since reading The Yellow Wallpaper. (via Bauer, 1998:349)

She also showed society that this depressed narrator became insane because she was forced to be domestic and submissive toward her husband. Not all women shared the same idea to enjoy being domestic and submissive. For intellectual and ambitious women, just like Charlotte and her heroine in “The Yellow Wallpaper” it was a very difficult thing to conform to the tenets of the Cult of True Womanhood.

Although

Charlotte

refused to be called feminist during her lifetime, the twentieth and twenty first century critics crown her as radical feminist theorist. She saw that what feminists struggled to get—right to vote—to be equal to men was not enough. Right to vote only was not enough to make women’s position equal to men. Based on her personal life,

Charlotte

had her genuine ideas about marriage and motherhood. The inequality between men and women in a marriage was caused by women’s finance dependence on their husbands, like what she wrote in her most famous book entitled Women and Economics

Her living, all that she gets—food, clothing, ornaments, amusements, luxuries—these bear no relation to her power to produce wealth, to her services in the house, or t her motherhood. These things bear relation only to the man she marries, the man she depends on—to how much he has and how much he is willing to give her. (via Bauer, 1998:325)

It is clearly seen in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, the unequal relationship between the narrator and her husband was caused by economics, John worked as “high standing” physician while the narrator was “imprisoned” in her room.

Charlotte

’s intentional choice of physician as the narrator’s husband’s profession had some reasons to show the sharp inequality between the narrator and the husband. First, the husband earned much money because physician was the most professional profession in that era. When it was compared to his idle wife, it showed high financial dependence on the part of the wife. Second, physician as the most respected and scientific profession dictated people to always believe in what a physician said. In the middle of the cult of science of the enlightenment in the eighteenth century, doctors really had a say to shape people’s way of thinking among “rational” society.

The financial dependence of the wife on the husband was similar to a child’s dependence on his or her parents. In Concerning Children,

Charlotte

criticized parents-children relationship that obliged children to obey their parents.

…obedience has a bad effect on the growing mind. A child is human creature. He should be reared with a view to his development and behavior as an adult, not solely with a view to his behavior as a child. … The work of “parenthood” is not only to guard and nourish the young, but to develop the qualities needed in the mature. (via Ceplair, 1991:117)

In the story,

Charlotte

illustrated the relationship between the narrator and John, her husband, was similar to that between a parent and a kid, e.g. the way John called his wife, “little girl”. A child was considered not knowing what was good or bad for him or herself. A child always needed parents’ guidance. Sometimes more extremely, parents dictated what the child had to do, and the kid just listened and did what the parents said. Every time the narrator tried to express her ideas to the husband, he always belittled her.

The difference between husband-wife relationship and parents-children relationship with the financial dependence as a result was that the wife served the husband in bed and did the household chores, while a child had to pay back the parent’s financial support by obeying whatever the parents said and asked the child to do. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, the narrator paid her husband back both by serving him in bed and obeying whatever John said. Her inability to do household chores was understandable because she suffered from mental disturbance. The presence of Mary and Jennie represented the narrator’s domestic side.

Woman’s Madness in “The Yellow Wallpaper”

As stated in the introduction that that feminist critics propose an idea that woman’s madness is spurred by patriarchal society, this sub chapter will show how John—the narrator’s husband in “The Yellow Wallpaper”—as the representative of patriarchal society leads his wife into insanity.

When the first time the narrator and her husband arrived in the solitary summer mansion, the narrator sensed something peculiar about the house. She wrote in her journal

A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a haunted house, and reach the height of romantic felicity—but that would be asking too much of fate!

Still I would proudly declare that there is something queer about it. (Bauer, 1998:41)

However, when she told her husband about what she perceived—that the house was haunted—her husband laughed at her idea. This laughter shows that he underestimated his wife. Her suspicion was caused by her curiosity how such a big building like that was untenanted for so long and rented to them very cheaply. This physician-husband was described as someone who “has no patience with faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs openly at any talk of things not to be felt and seen and put down in figures” (Bauer, 1998:41).  As someone who had the most “scientific” profession in the nineteenth century, obviously he believed only in logical things, and he considered his wife’s superstition as something illogical.

It definitely discouraged the narrator. She even suspected that because of the fact that her husband was a physician, who imposed his prescription to his patient, and did not pay attention to what the patient said and thought, she did not get well faster. “John is a physician, and perhaps—(I would not say it to a living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a great relief to my mind)—perhaps that is one reason I do not get well faster.” (Bauer, 1998:41)

When using what Luce Irigaray stated in Speculum of the Other Woman that a woman is defined as mad because her self expression is different from what men define for her, one can conclude that the narrator had her own way of thinking about herself which was different from her husband’s. This different way to see things between the husband and the wife urged madness phenomenon on the woman’s side.

Her sentence in her journal stating “You see he does not believe I’m sick!” (Bauer, 1998:41) shows that she thought she was sick, while her husband did not think that way. He just thought that there was really nothing the matter and the narrator only had “temporary nervous depression, a slight hysterical tendency” (Bauer, 1998:42).

Since the most famous treatment for women suspected to suffer from hysteria at that time was rest cure with its solitary confinement and avoiding intellectual stimulation, the husband brought his wife to that isolated place. He prohibited his wife to socialize with other people without his knowing, and he did not let her write in her journal. While on the contrary, the narrator believed in something contradictory, “Personally I believe that congenial work, with excitement and change would do me good.” (Bauer, 1998:42) The husband, with his authoritarian position and sanity decided that his wife’s writing in her journal would make her depression worse so that he asked her to stop writing and stop having “illusion” about the house. In the husband’s eyes, that the house was haunted was only his wife’s illusion. On the other hand, for her, it was a fact. In her journal, she wrote the reasons why she thought that way—the house was untenanted for so long and rented cheaply.

Furthermore, she wrote:

I sometimes fancy that in my condition if I had less opposition and more society and stimulus—but John says the very worst thing I can do is to think about my condition, and I confess it always makes me feel bad. (Bauer, 1998:42)

The above quotation showed the contradictory ways of thinking between John and the narrator. She opined that probably she would be recovered soon if she socialized more with people and got stimulus. However, her husband eliminates that idea by telling her to stop thinking about her condition—to be confined in a solitary place, to perceive that the house was haunted, and his prohibition to write in her journal.

John said that they came to that house merely on the narrator’s account so that she would get better soon. However, he ignored what his wife wanted. He denied her request a room on the first floor with access to the air outside, and confined her in the attic instead. When the narrator felt troubled with the wallpaper and asked her husband to change it, he said that he would even whitewash the cellar if the narrator asked him to do it. However, he did not do anything about it. He went on forcing his wife not to give fancy toward the wallpaper and the house.

The husband encouraged her to exercise “self-control” and avoid expressing negative thoughts and fears about her illness; she is also urged to keep her fancies and superstitions in check. In other words, it can be said that the husband defined what was sanity to his wife, and what his wife felt and thought as insanity. Sanity for a woman was that she had to believe in and agree with what her husband said; she had to be quiet, selfless, and submissive. On the other hand, when a woman had her own feeling and thought that opposed to her husband’s, it was insanity.

The husband kept telling her that all he did was for her benefit, because he loved her. Troubled with the idea of “true woman” and believing in what her husband said to her, the writer wrote in her journal “He is very careful and loving” (Bauer, 1998:43) and “He loves me very dearly, and hates to have me sick.” (Bauer, 1998:49). However, it is obviously seen that what he did toward his wife did not show his loving character. It even showed his egotism and arrogance. He was not empathetic. He never listened to what his wife said and wanted. His imposing his wife to believe in what he said to her and asked her to do what he thought the best for his wife even made his wife’s depression worsened quickly.

The explanation above shows Luce Irigaray’s theory about the cause of woman’s madness is right. Woman’s madness’ phenomenon is triggered by the different way to view problems or things in this life between man and woman. Since this is a male-dominated world, men decide that their views are right and sane while they consider women’s views as wrong and insane.

Referring to Helene Cioux’s theory about woman’s madness— society sees a mad woman as a courageous figure refusing to accept masculine norms, it can be proven in the way the narrator’s courageous critical idea that housekeeper is the best profession for women. In her journal, commenting on Jennie, her sister-in-law, the narrator wrote, “She is a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no better profession” (Bauer, 1998:47). She compared it to her writing journal that she considered as her work. She realized that the best profession for women in that era was homemaker, according to the Cult of True Womanhood. But still, she criticized it. Besides that, she also knew that she opposed the society norm that condemned novel writing. She kept on writing her journal. She wrote, “I verily believe she (Jennie) thinks it is the writing which made me sick!” (Bauer, 1998:47) Apparently she did not believe that the writing made her sick. She even thought of on the way around, writing could help her release her stress. She did not really pay attention to any norm confining women to be “true” and “good”. She did what she believed good for her. She continued writing, kept perceiving that there was something wrong with the house. She did not try her best to conform to the society’s norm to be a “good” mother for the baby she just delivered, and she did not have any idea either to be a “good” wife. She also kept thinking that she was sick despite her husband’s saying that she was not.

As a result of her courage to refuse the norm was that people around her labeled her mad.

A little bit different from the theories proposed by Luce Irigaray and Helene Cioux, Sandra Gilbert and Susan Gubar argue that the nineteenth century norms for women’s behavior—selflessness and submissiveness—were the causes of women’s mental illness. Charlotte Perkins Gilman apparently illustrated her nameless narrator as an intelligent and energetic woman who would feel restless if she had to live a boring life, without intellectual challenges as a housewife.

Since the beginning of the story, John always tried to make his wife as a submissive and selfless wife. He designed a treatment to pressure the narrator into concluding that something was wrong with her, not with her husband nor the people around her nor the values people adhered at that time. When she tried to be assertive, to express her feelings and thought toward her husband, he cruelly asked her to control herself. “… so I take pains to control myself—before him, at least, and that makes me very tired.” (Bauer, 1998:43)  By “proper self-control”, John meant to control the possibility that the narrator had her own version about her sickness and decide her own treatment to cure herself. By controlling her, John forced her to do what he told her instead.

In her book Women and Madness, Phyllis Chesler proposes the similar theories. As stated in Chapter three, Chesler’s first theory is that women who exhibit traditionally “male” traits are often diagnosed as mentally ill. The narrator’s traits—such as self-assertiveness—emphasized this. She did what she thought right and good for her. Telling her husband that the house had something peculiar and keeping thinking of it though her husband asked her to forget that idea is one example. The event when her husband forced her to stay in the room upstairs and she asked him to move downstairs because she did not feel comfortable in that room shows that she tried to be assertive, to have her own way of thinking. Being self-assertive was considered as men’s traits because women in that era were supposed to be selfless and obedient.

Chesler’s second theory is that mentally ill women are less likely to get understanding and support from family, friends, or employers and co-workers. None of the people around the narrator—especially John and Jennie—showed their understanding and support to her. John did not pay attention to what she said. He did not do what his wife asked him to do. The narrator’s statement in her journal “It is so discouraging not to have any advice and companionship about my work” (Bauer, 1998:46) shows her complaint. In that era, men did not consider their wives as companion—meaning having equal position with them. Women were just the “second sex”. Wives were just the angels of the house, the ornament for their husbands. Wives were just breeders and cooks.

Charlotte

criticized this situation by writing in her autobiography that women in that era were just “The ‘charmer’ before marriage and the cook afterward” (via Bauer, 1998:337).

John did not show sympathy toward his wife. The narrator had to write her journal—something that gave her comfort and relief—behind his back because she was worried if her husband would take away her freedom to write. She did not find anyone to share this enjoyment. No one understood her.

Jennie who thought that housekeeper was the best profession for women often looked at the narrator oddly. Jennie did not understand why the narrator did not conform to the society’s norms. If John represented the oppressive males in society, Jennie represented all the women who were ignorant of society’s oppression toward women. Jennie believed that women were created to be inferior and men superior.

Chesler’s idea that social change is needed to eliminate mental illness caused by oppressive patriarchy is supported by Gilman’s writing “The Yellow Wallpaper”. She wrote it to indirectly tell S. W. Mitchell that his rest-cure prescription was wrong. Recent feminist critics see it as Gilman’s struggle to criticize that patriarchal society with its idea about “good” and “true” woman oppresses women’s life. Forcing all women to be “true” and “good” women without giving any space to women who do not share the same idea to be such persons is not a wise thing. It even leads women to insanity.

CONCLUSION

Based on the analysis in the previous chapter, it can be said that there is a very strong relationship between what is going on in society and a theme of literary work. The Cult of True Womanhood strongly affects women’s lives in the nineteenth century. Charlotte Perkins Gilman portrays it in her novella entitled “The Yellow Wallpaper” (1892).

The analysis shows that women are divided into two categories. The first, woman who believes that she is born as a weaker sex or as the second sex. It is represented by Jennie; the sister-in-law of the nameless narrator. This kind of woman supports the status quo of patriarchal society. The second category is woman who becomes the victim of such culture. The imposing practice of patriarchal culture with its true womanhood norm on all women is obviously harmful to intelligent and creative women. This second category of woman is represented by the narrator.

As a victim of such culture, Gilman writes “The Yellow Wallpaper” to attack the practice of the Cult of True Womanhood. Such culture really oppresses intelligent and ambitious women like Gilman herself. The forced practice of that culture then triggers woman’s madness phenomenon.

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to my family for their moral and financial support during my study at the American Studies Graduate Program of Gadjah Mada University.

REFERENCES

Bauer, Dale M, ed. The Yellow Wallpaper,

New York

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Benstock,

Shari

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University

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Bressler, Charles E., Literary Criticism, 2nd edition,

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: Prentice-Hall Inc, 1999

Ceplair, Larry, ed. Charlotte Perkins Gilman A Nonfiction Reader,

New York

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Columbia

 

University

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Chesler, Phyllis, Women and Madness,

New York

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Books, 1972

Fetterley, Judith, The Resisting Reader: A Feminist Approach to American Fiction,

Bloomington

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Indiana

 

University

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Gilbert, Sandra & Susan Gubar, The Madwoman in the Attic, New haven, Yale University Press, 2000

Golden, Catherine, ed., The Captive Imagination, A Casebook on The Yellow Wallpaper,

New York

: The Feminist Press, 1992

Goodman, Lizbeth, Literature and Gender,

London

: Routledge, 2001

Herndl, Diane Price, Invalid Women, Figuring Illness in American Fiction and Culture, 1840-1940,

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Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th edition, 2003

McDowell, Tremaine, American Studies,

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Schibanoff, Susan,” Taking the Gold Out of

Egypt

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as a Woman”, Gender and

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De Simone, Deborah, “Charlotte Perkins Gilman and the Feminization of Education” http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/ejournal/old-WILLA/fall95/DeSimone.html

July 12, 2004

Frick, Katie L. “Women’s Issues Then and Now, A Feminist Overview of the Past Two Centuries” (http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~ulrich/femhist/ madness. shtml  September 22, 2003)

Welter, Barbara, “The Cult of True Womanhood: 1820-1860” http:// www.pinzler. com/ushistory/cultwo.html

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_____, “Phyllis Chesler A Pioneer for Woman’s Mental Health” http://www.womenshealthnetwork.org/nnartic.les/chesler.htm

September 22, 2003

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Nov 15 2006

Happy News …

Published by afemaleguest under daily

I was still in the bedroom when the bell rang around 9.30 this morning.. The guest seemed impatient because he pressed the bell several times, he also knocked on the window glass. My mom shouted from her bedroom located closer to the living room rather than my bedroom, “Be patient, please? I am coming.”

(FYI, I seldom get a friend coming in the morning. My students usually tell me first before they come to visit me. That’s why I didn’t think that the guest came to look for me.)

Not long after that, my mom opened the door of my bedroom, saying, “A postman came.” Oh well, I didn’t expect to get any airmail letter. I even dont remember when the last time I got one. LOL. So outdated, do you agree now that we have internet connection? J However, in fact, the letter was for me. I was surprised. When reading the envelope, it was from my alma mater, Gadjah Mada University. “Hmm … what’s up?” I asked myself. I remember some months ago, I got an invitation letter from GMU to attend an international conference there. I thought it was about a similar thing.

When I opened the envelope, read what it was about, I became very excited!!! The letter stated that my article I submitted as one requirement before the graduation day last year was chosen to be published in the scientific journal HUMANIKA. And for that, I deserve to get paid some money. WOW!!! Well, the amount of the money is not much, but the appreciation given to the article I wrote means very great for me. It shows that my hardwork during making the thesis is really highly appreciated. To get the money, I have to go to GMU, at the office of Graduate Program located on Jalan Teknika Utara, Pogung Yogyakarta before December 8, 2006.

Oh Yogya, my dearest city, I am coming!!! I have already missed you since I left last January 26, 2006, one day after my graduation day.

I remember how Ibu Tati, the previous Head of American Studies Program always showed pride and happiness in her facial expression when one article written by one American Studies graduate was chosen to be published by the scientific journal of GMU. I used to be envious when seeing one article of my seniors was chosen to be published by American Studies journal, moreover by GMU journal. WOW …

I will post the article in the following post. Happy reading. J

PT56 10.21 161106

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