Archive for December, 2005

Dec 13 2005

My students

Published by afemaleguest under daily

The following you’ll find an email I sent to my (present) darling telling about my students. Quite interesting experience (I am supposed to promote my own writing, aren’t I LOL). Happy reading, dear readers :)

My loved one,

It is 22.34. I am not sleepy yet. I am not tired either though I swam for two hours this evening. And I am lazy to start thinking of my thesis. Nah lo. LOL. I want to type another email for you instead.
I want to tell you about my students at Unaki. For the first time (there will always the first in anything, right? LOL) this semester I got three classes to teach at Faculty of Economics. Before this, I usually got some classes at Faculty of Language and Literature, due to my specialty in teaching—Literature, such as Introduction to Literature, Novel Analysis, Poetry Analysis, etc. actually I don’t really like teaching at other faculties coz the class usually consists of many students, more than 50. I don’t like if I don’t know each student personally, especially their ability. But of course, I couldn’t refuse to teach those classes. Two classes are “Bahasa Inggris 3”, meaning the students are in their third semester now, and the other class “Bahasa Inggris 1”, consists of first semester students.
One thing I don’t like much is their low ability. They directly complained when I spoke English on the first meeting. So, I always have to translate many sentences into Bahasa Indonesia. Gradually, I become lazy to speak English in front of the class then. But I know I could attract their attention easily with my humorous character.
To overcome the tendency of the students to come late, I made an agreement with them. Not quite agreement, actually, coz I imposed it on them. LOL. Any student coming late (“late” here means when they come after my entering the classroom, while I myself can come 5-10 minutes later than the schedule, and no punishment. LOL. Teachers are mostly selfish, aren’t they? LOL) will have to “show their talent”, such as singing, reading poems, dancing, or just walking like a model on the catwalk. I’ve got some “victims” so far. Some weeks ago, a student named Erik was forced by his classmates to flatter his girlfriend who happened to be in the same class with him. You can imagine Erik was blushed, kept quiet for some minutes, while standing in front of the class. At that time, I gave him an example, saying, “You know honey, I have always wanted to say these three words to you, but I was always in doubt, worried if you would laugh at me. So let me use this best opportunity to tell you that …” all the students were laughing loudly hearing that sentence of mine. LOL.
Last Wednesday November 30, many students were coming late. They asked my permission to sit, and I let them sit, without insisting them to show their talent first. Some time after that, I said, “Well, I have already checked the attendance list, so for those who came late, and don’t wanna show their talent, it’s okay to sit, to listen to me, but I consider them absent.” Directly they complained. LOL.
At that time, we discussed a passage entitled “Knowing the market”. To promote products, business people cannot avoid using advertisement, do you agree? To attract people’s attention, those producers must be creative to make interesting advertisement that will make the watchers remember very well. As an example, I asked the students to choose cigarette advertisement on television. I asked them to choose which ad was the most eye-catching for them. Some students said “LA Mild”, some others said “Jarum Black”, and then a male student raised his hand, attracting my attention, and I came close to where he was sitting, he said, “Nggak ada loe, nggak rame …” I asked him, “what cigarette is it?” He said again, “Ma’am … nggak ada loe, nggak rame …” When looking into his eyes, directly I recognized that he was trying to flirt me. LOL.
One day before that, November 29, I discussed how to give our opinion about something. I told the students that we could use expressions, such as “I think …” or “I am of opinion that …” As a topic to discuss, I led the discussion into a gender topic (my favorite ). Since the class consists of more girls than boys (5 boys, 17 girls), I said, “Well, coz this class consists of more boys than girls, what’s your opinion if a boy has 3 girlfriends in this class? Will you love that idea?” Suddenly, one of those boys said, “Ma’am … saya maunya empat, yang satu, you …” hahahaha … naughty boy. Actually I have already felt for some weeks that this particular student was really attracted to me. LOL. I don’t mean physically attracted to me, but my easy-going nature as a lecturer, my knowledge, maybe. Ah, it reminded me of what happened some weeks ago. I just had my hair cut shorter. I came with new hairstyle. When I entered the classroom, he looked at me intently, then teased me, “Wah … ada mahasiswa baru …” Luckily I know an advertisement on television like that (I don’t remember the product though). After hearing him saying so while looking at me intently, I came to his chair, saying, “I am your lecturer, you know that?” LOL. His classmates just laughed.
You know what hon? It reminded me of a mail you sent me more than a year ago. You replied my email I entitled, “Men versus women”, where you said that it is natural for male students to be attracted to their female teachers. Even you would still be sexually attracted to me though you were my student. LOL.
Those two classes I have on Tuesday and Wednesday consist of third semester students. My “Bahasa Inggris 1” class is on Friday. Some weeks ago, I was interested in a student named Dicky. At that time, I liked calling his name teasingly, “Dick …” hahaha … But then, he said, “Napa sih, Ma’am, manggil namaku terus? Naksir yah?” hahaha … I suppose the students in that class didn’t realize what “dick” means. LOL. I got a bit annoyed when he asked, “Naksir yah?” LOL. Therefore, the following weeks, I ignored him. You know what? Last Friday, he tried to attract my attention by doing anything he could, such as asking for my permission to go to the restroom several times, etc. LOL.
As I told you in the reply of that email of yours last year, so far, none of my students attracted me yet. Only if you smuggle in the middle of my students, I will be attracted to one of them, you. LOL.
That’s all for now, darling.
Love,
Nana

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Dec 06 2005

Life

Published by afemaleguest under Religion

Dear friends,
Have you ever questioned yourselves what God created this universe for? The earth with the other planets, human beings, animals, plants, etc.
When I was in elementary school (I went to Islamic school), I learned twenty traits of God, from wujud, qidam, baqa’, … till mutakalliman. Do you know that? The second trait, qidam, means the earliest. God has existed much earlier than the others. I imagined God was all alone at that time, in this very spacious arasy. The fifth trait, qiyamuhu binafsihi, means berdiri dengan sendirinya, or independent. I imagined, using my limited capability of imagination, God didn’t have anything to do. Perhaps God was lonely? To overcome that loneliness, (referring to God’s fourth trait, mukhalafatulil khawaditsi, meaning God does everything by Godself, God doesn’t need any help from other creatures) God created malaikat, without passion. No wonder, malaikat never have any idea to do anything else but things that God decided them to do.  Since created, malaikat Jibril has given divine revelation to some prophets. Until the doomsday, that will be the only thing Jibril will do, nothing else. Since having no passion, Jibril never wants to cheat, let’s say by keeping the divine revelation for himself/herself. Oh well, in Islam, malaikat doesn’t have sex, right, not male, not female. J
Facing a creature without passion definitely is very boring, do you agree? Therefore, then God created another creature, syaithon, alias Satan, with only passion. It was also boring. The most perfect creature God has ever existed, human being, was the following creature. God created Adam. (Have you ever heard, anthropologists do not believe that Adam is the first human being in this world, while for Black people, they believed that Adam is the first white man. Before Adam, then, all human beings had black skin. J) God completed human beings with passion and brain. Humans are supposed to use their brain to control their passion.
Going back to the main topic of this article, God created all this universe to make God busy, not feeling lonely. Observing human beings with their greed will be fun. Do you agree? Human beings that think their conviction is the right one, and underestimate other people, will then encourage them to fight other people, to force them to follow their way of thinking. People like Amrozi that judge people with other religions are just rubbish, so he feels justified to kill them all. Other people who think that their religion is the best, so they busy themselves to provoke other people to convert their religion, by saying bad things about other religion. Don’t they realize that it all started from indoctrination we’ve got since we were a kid?
Since I was a kid, I have been indoctrinated that Islam is the only religion justified by God, only Muslim people will go to Heaven, the others will go to Hell. My rebellious nature made me question myself why this only right religion doesn’t treat women fairly? (e.g. women are supposed to ask their husband’s permission before doing something, while men can do anything they want without their wives’ approval, women are supposed to ‘serve’ their husbands in bed anytime their husbands want, no matter whether their wives consent it or not, etc). I got the answer from my study, feminist literary theory with its main principle Reading as A Woman made me open my mind and eyes, it is not Islam that is gender-biased, but the men behind it, men with their gender-biased way of thinking interpret Al-Quran using their limited capability. When reading Jurnal Perempuan no 32 with the main topic “Perempuan dan Fundamentalisme”, I found out that other religions are also gender-biased, some of them are even worse than Islam in viewing women’s roles in society.
I am wondering why my writing deviates far from the main topic I want to tell you? J
When I feel my life empty, friends, I sometimes ask myself why God created all these things? Only for God’s amusement? Later, in the doomsday, we all will perish. All will be back to the previous time. God will be all alone again. (For those who have been indoctrinated that there will be life after death, they then will be waiting for the time to go to heaven or to hell. For those who have been indoctrinated that everything will end when their life ends, no life after death, then.) As a thoughtful and broad-minded people, we are not supposed to judge easily that other people’s conviction is wrong, are we?
Again, dear friends, no matter how many things we have done for our society, or for ourselves, or even nothing we have done, we all will “drift away” to the following kind life (if there is one). Then what?
This world has existed for many many centuries. Billions people have died before us. Then what? Time for us will come too. Also to our offspring. Then what? Does it give any benefit for God, as the Creator?
I still don’t find the answer of my own question what God created all this universe for. I believe God exists. But …
Anybody can help me?
Nana
051205

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Dec 05 2005

Marriage

Published by afemaleguest under daily

Dear friends,

Some time ago I asked my students, “What do people get married for?” They came up with various answers. That’s for sure.

1st student answered, “To follow sunnah Rasul…”

My comment, “How sure are you that getting married is one form of sunnah Rasul?” He went on, “People say so, Ma’am…” My response, “What made you believe in those people saying that getting married is one form of sunnah Rasul?”

2nd student answered, “To have children…”

My comment, “To have children, people just need to have sex, no need to get married. Don’t you see many people have children without getting married, only by having sex?” LOL.

3rd student answered, “To have someone who will always accompany us, Ma’am…”

My comment, “How sure are you that your spouse will always accompany you till the end of your life? How sure are you that he/she will not turn to someone else?”

4th student answered, “To have a better life, Ma’am. I want to marry someone richer than I am…”

My comment, “That makes sense. But make sure that you will really find someone richer than you are, and he will spend his money for you. The following question is, will you be willing to do anything he asks you to do in return of the money he’ll give you? Let’s say you become his property? If yes, well, … what’s the difference between a housewife and a prostitute?”

She just frowned, didn’t respond my comment.

5th student answered, “For love, Ma’am. I want to marry someone I love. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I love.”

My comment, “That makes sense too. One thing I want to tell you, make sure that you and your spouse will maintain the love between both of you so that boredom will not come between you.”

Do I sound like a wise-guy teacher?

In general, then, I can make a conclusion that people get married at least for those five reasons; namely to follow sunnah Rasul (for Muslim people, of course), to get offspring, companionship, money, and love. And, coz we live in a marriage-oriented society where people believe that to get happiness people must get married, people can add one more reason; to be happy.

For the first reason—to follow sunnah Rasul–, well, it doesn’t mean then people are supposed to force themselves to grab any guy/girl when they think that they are already at a “dangerous age”. Right? There are many other sunnah Rasul that Muslim people can do, so that it will give them a feeling that they will go to heaven for that. 

The second reason—to get offspring—gives many problems for couple who don’t get any baby after quite a long time they get married. They blame each other which one is not “fertile” so that they don’t get baby soon. More terribly, marriage regulation for Muslim (made by Indonesian government) corners women’s position. Those “unfertile” women are forced to let their (selfish) husbands get married again, to get offspring. No woman chooses to be born unfertile, I suppose. If they can choose, probably most women will choose to be able to have their own babies. It means it is all God’s secret why one woman can get pregnant easily while the others cannot. Government is not supposed to give “punishment” to these women by issuing regulation that forces women to let their husbands marry another woman only for babies. How about if the condition is on the contrary? When they find out that in fact the man is the one who doesn’t have fertile sperm, and the woman wants to have babies, will the husband let the wife marry another man to have them? Why doesn’t Indonesian government make regulations for this case? To make it fair?

The third reason—companionship—is very logical indeed. However, if I see polygamy phenomenon (especially in Indonesia), I am wondering if having (half-time) husband really gives those women secure feeling? A husband who is not always there for them coz they have to share their husband with someone else? Or maybe with some other women? What kind of companionship is it? How about if one night or one day they need their husband to do something, and it turns out that at that time their husband is with the other wife that probably lives quite far, in another city? If they are really honest to themselves, inside their heart, are they really willing to share their husband with another woman? except if they are “promised” to go to heaven? (How about if, later, it turns out that heaven and hell are only tales?) No more life after death?

The fourth reason—money—puts women in a very degraded position, for me. Referring to Marx theory about social class, people who have money have a high position in society, and decide anything. People who don’t have money will be marginalized, don’t have any right to say anything. Women will have similar role as property for men, or even only as a decoration, an angel of the house. Their husbands will show them off when they deserve to be shown off. When they are no longer attractive, it is high time then for them to be dumped. Women cannot complain coz they survive with their husband’s money.

The fifth reason—love, to spend the rest of their life with someone they love—is a very touching one. However, maintaining flame in a marriage is not an easy task. Many obstacles and problems come up. Many kinds of bills to pay, and no enough paycheck for all of them, let’s say. Many temptations outside marriage will be on the way too. A proverb saying “the grass is greener at the other side of the fence” may be interpreted into “Another woman’s husband or another man’s wife is more attractive than our own spouse”. LOL. Routines will give us boredom. Right?

The last but not least—people who are lullabied by fairy tales believe that marriage is the gate of happiness. However, if we are willing to be honest to ourselves, who will guarantee that happiness will always come after marriage? Three requirements people make to be happy—getting married, having a job, and having a kid—will not always make the people involved in it happy. Living in a marriage does not always guarantee happiness. Living single does not always mean hellish life.

Peace. 

Nana 051205

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