Blog si Feminis

http://www.bluejeanonline.com/features/features_live/VFPRedefiningManhood081003.htm 

September 19, 2004

Redefining Manhood in the 21^st Century

"Is he gay?" my friend wondered.

I shook my head. "No." I was shocked by the (mostly) kidding question, but wondered if I should have expected it.

After all, I had just described today’s stereotypical gay man: likes shopping, has great taste in clothes, talks openly about his feelings and is not afraid to cry while watching the American movie classic - It’s a Wonderful Life. But this wasn’t a gay friend - it was my boyfriend.

By society’s standards for men, I suppose it wouldn’t add up. Consider The Man Show, for instance, in which men are reduced to drooling over girls jumping on trampolines. Since men are assumed to enjoy only movies involving car chases and things blowing up, it’s no wonder that a guy who actually expresses himself is automatically regarded as rare or gay.

Yet new research shows that The Man Show and its counterparts may be nothing but a slap in the face of the modern man. This June, Euro RSCG Worldwide, a communications group, surveyed American men between 21 and 48 as well as women in the same age group who had a man in their lives. The survey examined "the current state of masculinity," and the results strayed from the traditional concept of men.

When asked what they would choose if granted only one wish, 35 percent of men said they wanted "to grow old with a woman [they] love." This was followed by a 22 percent wanting "to have happy, healthy kids." The men chose these over options more typically associated with the expectations and dreams of men, like heading up a major corporation or being a sports star.

Furthermore, 89 percent of male participants believed that "in the business world, good grooming is essential for men today," and 49 percent also deemed it acceptable for a man to get a facial or a manicure. If these numbers don’t illuminate a changing trend in gender perception, consider the 63 percent of surveyed men who disagree with the statement that "the average woman doesn’t bring as much value to the workplace as the average man."

Based on this survey, society is clearly not giving men the credit they deserve. While ads exploit men as being more testosterone-driven, many men are "embrac[ing]…attitudes once deemed the province of women." Euro RSCG has dubbed this up-and-coming man the "metrosexual," defined to be someone "comfortable in [his] masculinity and in [his] sense of self."

"The metrosexual represents the tipping point of a shift that parallels the process - though not the passion or the politicization - of the women’s movement," says Marian Salzman, chief strategy officer at Euro RSCG and one of the study’s architects. "In the 1900s, women had to struggle to win parity with men. In this new century, men…are finding the courage to explore the female domain without fear of losing their status as ‘real’ men. As the survey results show, more and more men are willing to take that risk."

Yet a man shouldn’t have to "risk" his masculinity when a movie makes him cry or a moment brings him to sentimental expression. The media may continue to question that, but in the end it appears the metrosexual will respond with a perspective that is, thankfully, quite different from traditional expectations.

Dear friends,

I got this interesting article from www.bluejanonline.com Hope you’ll find it interesting, and inspiring too. Mm…one day a good friend of mine—a man—told me that “Women are the most mysterious creatures in the world.” Since I am a woman—though it does not mean that I know all things about women, I want to say it on the way around, “Men are the most mysterious creatures in the world.”

Recently, I often talk to a female friend of mine who got married last July. Some male workmates of mine always tease us, “Share experience, eh?” I know they meant sex experience with that question. Well, talking to that friend of mine in fact is nice. You know, whenever I talk to that friend of mine, our male workmates always think that we talk about sex. Frankly speaking, it really makes me think what is in fact in men’s heads? Do they think about sex for twenty-four hours a day? Or do I exaggerate it by making it twenty-four hours? Maybe only twenty hours a day? LOL. Well, suddenly it made me suspicious what my male students think when I’m in front of the class? So far, I always enjoy being in front of the class, being the center of attention, hmm … a few months ago, my workplace gave questioner to students, well … you know, we wanted to get some ‘input’ from students how to improve our quality. I was glad enough to see the result coz under the question “What do you like most from this English Course?” most students of mine say good things about the teacher—it means me. Such as, “I love the way the teacher teaches. She can make the classroom more lively.” Or “I like the teacher coz she is very creative to make activities more interesting” or “I like the teacher coz she is always well-prepared when coming to the class.” Or “The teacher is very helpful. She makes me feel comfortable to practice my English.” Well sort of things. When one day I had a chat with a friend, he commented, “Why nobody comment on how sexy the teacher is? I would write such a thing if I were your student.” Well, it made me suspicious if in fact my male students also think such a thing although of course they don’t dare to write it. What is in men’s head actually? Is it only sex? Do they also think about sex toward their female teacher? Do they think sex in classrooms when their female teacher is explaining about something?

Going back to the article I quoted from that website, recently men become more like women, especially in expressing themselves, not ja-im (or jaga image) anymore when they feel they have to show their feeling. I don’t mind either with the fact that more and more men going to spa or beauty parlor. They also have that right to beautify their appearance. J even if one day men also use powder. If men generally love to see women who always pay attention to their physical appearance, women have exactly the same right as that, women also love to see men who always look tidy, clean, well-groomed, and sexy!!! Mm, it reminds me of one thing, I don’t really remember whether it is stated by Ayu Utami or someone else, like this: “Women are the ugliest creature in the world coz they always don’t feel confident if they don’t cover their face with powder and put lipstick on their lips. Why don’t they just be confident like men and don’t depend on those things?” LOL. That’s why, I will really support if one day, men also use powder and lipstick in their daily life, men who consider themselves manly, and not QUEER (American word for Banci). If this happens, well, both men and women are ugly creatures so they need to cover their face with powder and put lipstick on their lips. LOL. It will be very fair. J

Any comment, friends?

Love,

Nana

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